Denial (not a river in Egypt!)

The past few days I’ve been trying to write about denial and I’ve been having a difficult time collecting all of my thoughts on it.  I am in the middle of a book “Crave” by Lysa Terkhurst and she phrased the definition of denial in such a way that it was an aha moment for me.  She said, “But self-control is hard.  We don’t like to deny ourselves.  We don’t think it is necessary.  We make excuses and declare, “That’s nice for you, but I could never give that up.”  Denial takes self discipline, it requires effort, it just doesn’t happen!  Ouch!

Remember back a few years ago, the saying, “no pain, no gain?”  We all probably uttered that phrase a time or two, but did you ever stop and really think about it?  We all seem to want results in the areas we are focusing on, but few of us want to work hard enough to see those results.  Our society has gotten so caught up in the instant gratification of just about everything, that if the results we are seeking don’t pop up on our “minds” screen within a few minutes, we deem that activity/desire a failure.

Denial takes self-control and that is a personality trait that seems to be going by the wayside.  I include myself in this mind you.  In regard to weight loss, since that is a current battle I’m fighting…..it took a while for those pounds I’m trying to lose, to get packed onto my body.  Unfortunately, it didn’t take as long as it will to off load them!  I have had to literally “fight” myself in order not to head to the pantry and open a bag of potato chips or even more tempting to me, the Ghirardelli 60% chocolate morsels.  I rationalize my lack of self-control by saying it was a hard day, or I worked out a lot or even worse, not caring because it was just too hard of a day!  This self-control/instant gratification isn’t just for food; it is for alcohol, drugs, sex, material things, relationships etc.  We want what we want and we want it NOW!

Then Easter came.  A friend of mine sent an email by Max Lucado and the following is his quote:” Before the nail was pounded, a drink was offered. Mark says the wine was mixed with myrrh. Matthew described it as wine mixed with gall. Both myrrh and gall contain sedative properties that numb the senses. But Jesus refused them. He refused to be stupefied by the drugs, opting instead to feel the full force of his suffering.” 
Jesus denied Himself the ability to be anesthetized…..and I’m having a hard time in the pantry?!  Has my stomach, become my “god” that I have to pay homage to it?  What I am finding so fascinating about this book “Crave” is that it is highlighting that we were made to “crave” something.  The thing is, we just have fixated on the wrong cravings.  We continue to get our fill of food in my instance, but it isn’t fully satisfying, because a short time later, I’m hungry again.  The same could be said for a shopaholic.  They buy an outfit, but then need another piece to complete it, or as a budding photographer, I feel that if I only had that better camera or that program that lets me be more creative, then my pictures will somehow be that much better.  Where does it stop?  BTW….sometimes the pictures do get better, but it still winds up being never-ending, because things will always be improved upon.
God is available to supply our needs, not our wants.  The craving He instilled in us, was a craving for a relationship with Him.  He is the only fully satisfying phenomenon and funny enough, when I am in His presence, the only thing I seem to want is to dwell in simplicity there with Him.  It is at that moment, in the midst of a chaotic world, I feel a sense of peace that is indescribable.  It is my choice to remain there, unfortunately the world beckons and I move forward as a cog in the wheel of rotating motion.  Slowly though, as I learn to deny myself, I learn to simplify my life and I draw closer to Him.  Yes, it takes self-discipline, but I’ve learned through all this, that I was never the one in control from the start!
Looking up!~Barb