Thoughts a Plenty: The Joy of Being

This morning as I casually sipped my coffee, perusing a
daily devotional I was smacked in the heart with a profound realization.  The magnitude of this realization would have registered on a seismograph in the 8.0 area of the Richter scale (earthquake terminology).  I invite you to look into your own lives and hearts, if you aren’t too terrified to do so, and I say that, because once I opened this door, I found I could not shut it and the subsequent sobs left me trembling.

By now most everyone knows I’m widow at the age of 58, and lost my parents all within the same year.  I moved with my best friend to the beach in March and we weathered the loss of both her parents within 3 months of each other.  On, the happier side of life, I became a grandmother not once but twice within 25 days of each other.  And it is here I will begin my story.

For part of this past week, I spent time with my grand-daughter Kylie.  She is really
sweet and just coming into her own personality.  This is such an important time, because as she learns the ways of the world, it will affect her entire life.  Kylie was born with a frown, and she looked so much like my own mother who had the same frown etched into her forehead, that it caused me to laugh out loud.  What the heck does a little baby
have to frown about within minutes of entering the world?  Since that time, her face has erupted in smiles and coos, sneezes, burps and giggles.  Although she does make the sounds of crying, her tear ducts have yet to produce a single drop.  Many times I call
her “sound” her “faker” cry.  New parents quickly learn to differentiate between the various cries of their children.

I digress.  Babies are for this discussion, viewed as a blank slate and until they learn otherwise, they exemplify joy at their deepest level.  I have witnessed stress melt from the bodies of those who come in from work and hold a baby.  Left on their own,
the two (baby and caregiver- whomever that may be) develop a rapport oblivious
to others at that given moment.  Having experienced this, it made me wonder what happens to make us lose that joyousness?

It dawned on me, it boils down to how we experience love, which happened to be the topic of my devotion.  The commentary associated with John 13:35 described love this way: “Love is more than simply warm feelings.  It is an attitude that reveals itself in action.
How can we love others as Jesus loves us?  By helping when it’s not convenient, by
giving when it hurts, by devoting energy to other’s welfare rather than our own, BY ABSORBING HURTS FROM OTHERS WITHOUT COMPLAINING OR FIGHTING BACK
(emphasis added – my own).  This kind of love is hard to do.

Back to babies.  Babies are free to be who they are, up to a certain age anyway, then
they have to conform into a world that has the potential to rob them of all the
little joyous things we value so much – a giggle just because; a fart or burp
because they have gas, a cry (with or without tears because they need something
and don’t know how to communicate it any other way.)

A few weeks ago, as I was travelling with my friend, for some odd reason, I got the giggles.  I don’t know what struck me funny, but I laughed so hard, I couldn’t see – and I was
the one driving.  Nothing funny was said, I just split open and erupted in laughter. And it felt good.  My friend kept asking me what was funny and I couldn’t answer her, which made me suspect for the rest of the evening- no I hadn’t had anything to drink.  See what I
mean?!  My laughter was contagious?  Maybe?  Or maybe I was scaring her?!

This morning after my reading I came to the realization that the world wants us to qualify joy and that reduced me to tears.  When had this invasion of joylessness invaded my world?  Why had I allowed myself to be robbed and why do I allow it to perpetuate?  There is a time and place to be serious, but it doesn’t have to encompass all 24 hours of the day, 365 days of the year!  I have had people question my judgment, call me names, laugh at my inadequacies and made me feel less than and sometimes worthless.

It also made me think of when we have been wronged or have been the person who has been unforgiving.  Really?!  We hold grudges?  Seems ridiculous when one faces the loss of
lives and I truly mean that.  I wish I would have realized that before having gone through what I have, but I now have no time for people who just want to be hateful because they have been offended.  Who has the right to judge?!  Get over it.  Unfortunately we are the only ones who walk in our shoes, everyone else has their own pair!

So, I’m fighting back.  I am not going to let Satan or anyone else take what I deem to be most precious – my joy!  I have walked the lonely path of depression (a sadness that persists beyond description).  I have “controlled” my urges to be silly because I was afraid of what others may say or think.  And you know what?  Everyone is way too caught up in their own mini-dramas to know that life is too damn short. 

I looked at the last pictures I have of my son and me at differing times holding my husband (his father) just before his passing. I looked at the picture of my sisters standing next to my Dad and also the last picture of 2 of my sisters and myself standing with Mom.  These captured for me how fleeting time is.

So, laugh, cry, sing, and shout.  Stop silencing your inner you for the world’s critics because I have a little secret for you – they aren’t happy either and they want to share their misery with you.  In some warped way, if they can make you feel bad, they feel better. 

God’s love is not selfish, it is selfless.  He wants us to feel the joy for all that has
been provided by Him graciously!

Invite me, I love a good laugh.  There's nothing like a great giggle (with or without the baby!)

Looking up!

Faithful? Trusting? Belief? What do they mean?

God is faithful.  Do you know it?  Do you feel it?  Do you believe it?  If I take myself out of the equation, because I filter things, or maybe I should say I unknowingly allow Satan the invitation to filter my thoughts, then, and only then does it seemingly make sense to me.  God promises and He delivers, no ifs, ands or buts.  The problem is my thought processes are limited and therefore when things don’t get done the way I think they should be done, or in the time frame I believe to be sufficient, I am left in doubt.  Too often I believe we set ourselves up for failure.  We also set God up.  Do we pray for silly things as proof of God’s love and devotion to us?  Definition of silly things – winning a game (either ours or our favorite sport’s team), passing a test when we haven’t put in the work of studying for it, expecting to win the lottery and therefore not working to be financially sound, can you add to the list? 

God is faithful to me daily for all the little things I overlook each and every day.  I have my health, loved ones, a roof over my head, food to eat, and so much more.  I take these things for granted expecting more and yet, when I stop and think about all that I do have and then think of those less fortunate than I, I am ashamed.  God gives us life, not problem free life.  Problems are our way of growing in life.  On Sunday, I heard through Joel Osteen about palm tree strength.  In a storm, a palm tree bends over to a point where it might even touch the ground.  In this state somehow its roots are strengthened, whereas an Oak might just uproot and fall.  After the storm, the palm has “bounce back” technology built in, and when it stands upright, it is stronger than before.  Now, as we face our problems, don’t we also share in that bounce-back ability? 

So, if we are challenged with difficulties – lack of health, addictions, financial difficulties, chronic illnesses either ours or our loved ones, does that mean God is not faithful?  I think I have a difficult time grasping bad things happening to good people; as well as understanding that we go through seasons.  I think we get our minds wrapped around negativity and can’t see the forest for the trees in regard to our blessings.  Our eyes get stuck on the moment and we choose not to see the big picture. 

It takes more muscles to frown than to smile and yet, we actively pursue the frown workout when we choose to stay stuck in negativity.  Does it feel good in this place?  It doesn’t for me, and yet I stay rooted here.  Why? 

Because we follow the path of least resistance.  Is it better to stay in the known “hell” than try to move out into the unknown?  We may believe this to be true, because we already know how to adapt to what we are experiencing and we fear the unknown. 

Last story – a man was hiking on a mountainous trail admiring the view.  He came to a treacherous spot and had a choice to make, go the easy, longer way or take the shorter more difficult route.  The man was secure in his abilities almost to the point of egomania, so he chose the shorter way.  As he is hiking, his feet slip and he finds himself dangling from a tree limb with his grasp weakening.  His time is short and his attempts of pulling himself up are futile.  Out of the blue, he calls to God for help.  God answers him, but first asks him a question.  The question was “Do you trust me?”  The man feels his grip sliding, but the question annoys him?  “God, I need your help now!  Not a lecture!”  God replies “Well, if you trust me, let go.”  The man now is angry and says “if I let go, I’ll fall and die!  How can I trust you with that being your answer?”  God says once again to him, “If you trust me, let go.”  The man, begrudgingly acknowledges his trust in God, feeling he doesn’t have a choice and he lets go.  When he does, he drops 4 inches onto a ledge.  The man didn’t see the full picture in his dilemma, but God did and does for each of us!  Do you trust God or are you and I only confident in what we know and see? 

I’d love to know what the man thought after this – did he feel tricked by God or was he grateful?  What would you feel?  Do we only know God in difficult times?  In good times is there no God?  Final thought – God admittedly states that He is jealous for our attention.  If the only time we think of Him is in our problematic state, might He be keeping us there to keep us near Him?  Hmmmm…..thought provoking to say the least!