Compelling Words

Good morning and Happy New Year! It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged! I guess I’ve been lazy, but in reality, I haven’t “felt” the material! Well, this morning that changed. This leads me to today’s subject matter. Compelling words.

Who of us remembers JFK’s compelling words – “Ask not, what you your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country!” Or Martin Luther King’s “I have a Dream” speech? Pretty specific ideals right? Well this morning in Chronicles, in the subtext, I read where King Saul only sought God, when his (Saul’s) efforts failed. David, on the other hand, sought God continuously. David wanted to build the temple to glorify God, but God didn’t want or allow him to, David’s job was to be in the preparation. Then this specific subtext grabbed me, “It isn’t enough just to avoid wrongdoing. We are to pursue what is right!”

My question is do I? Do you? Do we condone wrongdoing just to play it safe and be politically correct? Do we pray with an agenda? Whose?

I received this “Healing Prayer” this morning from a friend.

“I hope you can do this with me…HEALING PRAYER. Try not to break it, if you cannot send it let me know…I know I chose twelve people well, may we receive strength and Divine Light. Our Father, Who art in Heaven, as You walk into my home, please take all my worries, diseases, fears and please protect my parents, brothers and sisters, my children, my friends and all of my family, in the name of Jesus! Amen. If God is first in your life, stop what you are doing and send this message! So that all of your friends receive this blessing today! There is no silence that God does not understand, nor sadness that He does not value. Dear God, bless the hands of the one that opened this post, also illuminate the eyes of those who read it and fill with love and blessings whoever shares it. Choose to send this to …Angels have learned that you are fighting something, they say it has already passed, please do not eliminate this message. Please know that tonight there will be resolution of two issues in your life and they will provide relief. Tomorrow will be the best day of all, I leave you twelve angels, one for each month, you must give this to twelve friends and great news will come. You cannot imagine the work it took to bring down these beautiful stars.

I love this friend, and this prayer possesses some key quality elements but then it breaks down for me because it becomes conditional, so I am lovingly (hopefully being received that way) addressing this so that others understand truth without conditions.

I recently saw the movie by the Kendrick brothers, “War Room.” It specifically deals with the subject of prayer and who we are fighting with. It also specifically tells us, Who is doing the fighting and while we may think it is us, it will only be us if we assume that we are the one in control! When we try to usurp God’s position in life, we wind up thinking/trying to “fix” what is wrong with someone else or something else. That isn’t our job! We are to serve God, not God serving us!

The prayer above states that we have to do something in a set amount of time – wrong! We should be doing what this prayer says ALL of the time! Inviting God into our homes, praying for our loved ones, asking God to show us His Grace especially when we are undeserving of it.

Tomorrow isn’t going to be the best day! Because today is the best day, we are not guaranteed tomorrow! So, stop banking on the future and start living today! Upon re-reading this, it sounds as if I am angry, I’m not, just passionate about not wanting anyone to not enjoy today!

Finally, who is to say how many resolutions we will see, it may be two, but why limit God? I believe and trust that God is All Powerful! We may not understand why things happen, but neither do we understand the full scope of the world we are living in! “We may be unable to see the results of our labors for God in our lifetime, but David’s example helps us understand that we serve God so HE will see HIS results, not so we will see ours!”

These chain “prayers’ do accomplish one thing, they make us think, even if incorrectly! Let’s not confuse God with a genie in a bottle granting wishes, instead let us pray that God continues to bless us with family and friends who genuinely care about us and who together with Him, help us in our daily struggles!

Anything that comes from God will not invoke the words “have to” because He has given us “free will” and that allows us to choose, even if incorrectly! Then Grace and forgiveness cover our poor choices – IF we believe!

Looking up!

Barb

The Condition of Your Heart

 

What does the condition of your heart say about your circumstances?

   The journey from Egypt to the Promised Land should have only taken eleven days yet it took Moses 40 years to lead the Israelites there.  When my brain was able to wrap around the reason it gave me due pause.  It wasn't that the distance was so great, but instead it was the condition of the Israelites' hearts.  Why, you wonder?  It wasn't that God was so interested in the distance travelled, but HE was interested in their willingness to obey Him once they arrived.

     Fast forward to today. When we speak aloud we are praying/prophesying to the world.  What we speak aloud, becomes real, meaning it comes into existence.  If we say we are never going to lose weight, we won't, because we simply find ways to sabotage any efforts we might be making.  True that!  I'm doing it now! If someone says there's no use trying to break an addiction because it runs in their family, or it has always been that way, they are only making excuses not to try.  We also need to understand that we are only in control of ourselves and any blame we continue to cast on others is keeping us from what it is we want!

 

     Anything we pray about (speak aloud) must be spoken from a positive vein BUT and this is the part I truly feel we miss and what the Israelites missed, we also have to have the right heart.  We may pray for change, but in our hearts we still possess the anger, unforgiveness, the need to be right, or any other rationalizations that block us from reaching the "promise land" of our desires.  Do you get it, WE ARE BLOCKING  OURSELVES.  God is pro-good, not pro-choice.  Oh, He allows us choices, but that's where we get life gummed up! It is about God's Will for our lives and He promises us that everything will work toward good, even the bad stuff. He wants good stuff for us!  He is a generous God. The only way to be able to see this occur though is through the eyes of our hearts.  If our hearts are defective because of (a) condition(s), it is not receptive.

 

     Do you find your prayers seem to go unanswered? Recently a friend was having a tough time at work.  She would come home needing to vent daily about the conditions she found herself trying to work in.  People and technology were non-receptive and non-functioning.  Initially she had felt led to this job, and was confounded when all these obstacles started popping up.  She prayed, but things didn't seem to change.  Then, just the other night, she realized her anger was stopping her connection to God and she apologized to Him.  Within days of this apology, she was presented with a new opportunity and she accepted. It was amazing watching this unfold!  Miracles like this happen everyday, but if our hearts are defective, we can't see them!  Also, it doesn't always have to be about us, I enjoy watching others see miracles happen.

 

      Now, not to sound like I am qualifying this, but I do believe this needs to be understood.  Our prayers may not be answered immediately.  And in an instant gratification society, this is a hard pill to swallow.  God is in the mountain moving process, but WE are slow to make moves and just because WE are ready, does not mean that the other person(s) involved are in the position on their journey to move. Remember the 40 year trek that should have only taken 11 days? It wasn't just about one Israelite, it was about them collectively.  Everything in life is a process, a journey.  We are not alone in this world and we have to accommodate the others who cross our paths.  We can't exhibit road rage because someone is traveling at a slower pace than the one we want to.  I truly believe this happens and the reason I think so, is because we are so destination focused, we forget the beauty of the journey.  Yes, the final destination for some of us is heaven, but we have to die to get there, so what's the rush? What do we do in this waiting time?  Make sure our hearts are tuned up and turned on, that's what!

     Comparisons have a way of getting in the way of our enjoyment.  Thinking someone else has it better means we internally decide to spar in our hearts leading to damaging defects.  When people don't behave the way we think they should, we judge them to be inferior to our standards.  The thing is, we are not in the position to be both judge and jury, only God is.  Why can only God be the judge?  Because no one, and I do mean absolutely no one, knows everything about us.  We only share what we deem acceptable.  We love conditionally.  If that then we allow this.  Think this isn't true?  The next time you have an argument with someone, see what conditions you are focused on!  It is usually about your needs not being met in the manner you wish they were.  Hey, it may seem I'm pointing fingers, but in doing so, there are 3 fingers pointing back at me.  And just so you know I'm not above reproach, I've been feeling sorry for myself because I've been ambivalent about positive things happening for me.  Too often I fall back into a state of despair and blame it on my circumstance of my husband dying!  I am not trying to minimize that occurrence, but staying stuck isn't the answer either! Then too, I am aware of the miracles in my life, but when I compare them to the miracles in other's lives, I appear ungrateful when I say they don't measure up. Hmmmmm!

     Yes, we have rules or laws to govern society.  Yes, they are needed.  But when you go back to Moses leading the Israelites into the Promised Land, remember because of their hard heartedness they were stuck wandering around for 40 years.  They were bitter, they complained, they struck out on their own only to be subjected to plagues and death.  They set limitations because rather than trust in God they chose to be afraid, not only forgetting but negating the miracles God had already performed for them. (Parting the Red Sea amongst other things).  So, my challenge to anyone reading this, today, make up your mind to get beyond your own set of circumstances and ask that God shed the light on your heart to heal it and open it to be accepting to His call on your life. Otherwise, prepare yourselves to keep walking in circles.  Things won't change until you change YOU and YOUR attitude do.

Looking up!
Barb

Modern day take on the Prodigal Son

In Derwin Gray’s book, Limitless Life, he tells the story of John, Jacob and Jude (naming names, albeit made-up names) for the family featured in the parable.  John is the Dad, Jacob the prodigal and Jude the “good boy?!”

Synopsis “Derwin style”…Jacob comes to Dad (John) and says “hey old man, give me my stuff and let me live my life according to the way I want to (and by the way, this means now, I don’t want to wait until you die!)  Dad John sadly but lovingly grants Jacob’s wishes, and watches as he disappears from their lives.  As Derwin recants it, he (Jacob) heads to Vegas; living the high life until such a time as he no longer can sustain it.  Jacob then resorts to what most would, he tries to make a living doing whatever he can to try to save face and stay in the area of good times.  When Jacob finally realizes (with maturity – age?) he has turned away from the ones who love him (not just a good thing), he humbles himself and goes home, not to be confused with going home to reposition himself as a son in good standing, but instead to accept being near those he loves and to do whatever it takes to be able to just be in their presence.  Dad (John) is elated and runs to meet Jacob as soon as he sees him.  The clarification Derwin presents is that by running to meet his son, John prevents those “righteous” people from getting to Jacob first and sending him on his way as a no-good scoundrel.  John acting with forgiveness and grace blesses Jacob with immediate inclusion.  Enter Jude – the good boy- who finds his self-worth in being just that, good (read perfect).  Jude is a rule follower and isn’t too happy that the one who broke all the rules is now back in the family all hunky dory.  Jude is well, what about the consequences for what Jacob did?  Don’t you see that I was always good?  Shouldn’t being good be rewarded?  Jude, you see is what is called an excluder.  If you make a mistake, you’re out.  The question to be asked is, is it one mistake or a series of mistakes that throw you out?

Interpretation – God is the father (John), ok, that’s not a stretch is it?  He lovingly accepts us, waits for us, runs to us; however you want to classify welcoming us back from the divergent paths we feel we need to take to be in control (or out of control) of our own lives.

Which leaves two camps?  The Jacob camp and the Jude camp.  So, where do you find yourself parking?  The way it hit me this morning was that most people who suffer from life’s travesties, and specifically in the case of addictions because they purportedly have “chosen” their road; would find themselves in the Jacob camp.  The Jude’s are the ones sitting on their perches looking down their noses sniffing the air and saying the stink of the Jacob’s is offensive.  The “Jude’s” think and say things like, “so and so need to go to church, or they should see the hurt they are causing their families, or they should look at “me” as I follow the rules and live righteously and therefore am considered good.  The “Jude’s” judge and pass sentences of shame and guilt and stir up hatred and chaos while purporting to be “good.”  They have no time for anyone who has suffered life or its consequences.  This wouldn’t happen to them!!  My view on addictions is that some are more vulnerable than others, but I believe addictions to be a disease based situation and once ensnared in it's tentacles, there is hell to pay, much the same as trying to disengage someone from a cult.  We can argue about choices being made, but isn't all of life based on choices - so someone who smokes and gets cancer, or someone who overeats and doesn't exercise and gets heart disease.  Anyone? 

So, when a “Jacob” gets clean and comes home, too often the “Jude” doesn’t want to let them back into the flock, (instead holding the Jacob to the position of disdain or continued ridicule) because they can’t accept that the Father can still love the person who wasn’t perfect, and they get upset because they (the Jude) feels their perfection is being overlooked or worse yet diminished.  But I like how Derwin said it best – “One found his purpose and the other missed his purpose.”  Jacob found his purpose – to love and be loved by the Father, while Jude missed his purpose by being what Derwin calls a religionist (follower of religious rules instead of being amidst the love).

I love this quote by Derwin: “people who do not understand grace are quick to talk about their “performance” when they feel they’ve been wronged.”   In the above story, Jude found his purpose not in being loved by his Dad. He was spiritually dead, even though he was religious. Derwin goes on to say “Religion says, “I am a good person, look what I’ve done.”  Grace says, “The only goodness in me is Jesus; look at the good thing He’s done for me: He loved me.”

Whether or not we want to acknowledge it, we are all in the Jacob camp, we sometimes just don’t recognize ourselves because we make comparisons of our “worth” based on a set of rules rather than on love.  How often do we talk about our performances when we’ve been wronged?  We are Jacobs when we are Judes because we are in “Vegas” in our hearts, separated because of our inability to love others including ourselves because of our own sets of rules followed with the need to be perfect.

“Our purpose is not found in our careers, money, children, spouses or anything or anyone else.  Our purpose to be loved by God”, as Derwin so adroitly says.  Love is not bound by rules and yet I know that I too keep a list of rights and wrongs!

I am Guilty!  But on my way home!

The Debate - Whose way?

It’s a beautiful morning as I sit, sipping my coffee, immersing myself in the Word.  I was to be part of a Bible study last night using technology – Facetime, but the timing (my anniversary) and other technology (a traffic accident that took out a power pole) interrupted the process.  The plan was to discuss Philippians Chapter 1.

My mind is a torrent of thought in this regard and I’m afraid to start in one direction feeling that I might lose the other thoughts I have and not be able to tie them all in without writing a dissertation.

Here goes:  Religion is seemingly tricky.  Already I don’t like that opening sentence, because it doesn’t say what I really mean and I am afraid, it will turn you off.  Bear with me please!!

I was raised Catholic, meaning my mother was Catholic while my dad was Presbyterian.  In the early 60s, while attending mass, spoken in Latin, so I had not a clue what was being said, I found myself disinterested in the whole process.  What kid wants to go somewhere and watch a sermon in a foreign language? Ok, there might be some, but it wasn’t me. After the hour long mass, we then went to Sunday school.  In Sunday school we were taught all about sins.  What stuck in my mind was that if we missed church it was a venial sin, meaning we were bad, but not as bad as a mortal sin, which meant we killed someone.  I am oversimplifying this, but truly this is what I took away from Sunday school.  In essence, I grew up to believe that God was a punitive taskmaster, ready with the lightning bolt to knock me on my keister if I screwed up.  The operative word in the Catholic church seemed to be “don’t”.  Meanwhile my Presbyterian friends were learning how Jesus loved them.  Today, I believe that between my maturity and the evolution of the church, this might not be the case any longer, but let me continue.

So many years later, when I rebelled I stopped going to church altogether, claiming or so I thought, I didn’t need a God who made me feel bad, and one I could never relate to.  My college freshman roommate was what we called a “Jesus Freak” and I walked a wide circle around her and not very nicely, because it just seemed weird.  Don’t judge me, please keep reading.

I can’t say exactly when, but throughout my 20s into my 30s, I started maturing and I allowed that maybe God did have some benefit, but in saying that, I will also add that if it suited my situation.  At this time my mother was searching for meaning as well, having done some intense study in the Catholic religion and coming away with more questions than answers.  She would be reading books by Deepak Chopra, all the while saying that I was still too young to understand.  I laugh, because when she passed away last year, I was still too young to understand.  This is unfortunate, because it was a missed opportunity to relate!

But I have finally arrived I think.  Losing people to the great beyond has a way of making you stop and think, what happens when one dies.  What is the meaning of life...?

Do you know how I became a Christ follower?  I read the “Left Behind” series and got curious.  I then read “The Shack” and learned that knowing Jesus was more about the relationship than about a religious affiliation. That really intrigued me, especially coming from a background of rules!  Now some might find that blasphemous, but it led me to want to learn more which led me to the Bible.   I am only being honest.

This is what I take Paul to mean when he writes in Philippians 1 about being held in chains and others taking up preaching.  “It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill.  The latter do so in love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel.  The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains.  But what does it matter?  The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached.  And because of this I rejoice.”

I have always been afraid of sharing my opinion.  I was more or less raised to be a goody two shoes, never rocking the boat or in other words succumbing to my childhood religion of “don’t”.  Don’t think, don’t do (implied anything wrong), don’t say…just don’t.  I was left with a lot of questions that I didn’t ask, because I thought I didn’t know enough to back up my own thoughts.

So, in no particular order, I am wondering aloud –

The Message – this is the “now” version of the Bible.  Written in today’s vernacular, it is easily understood, and because of the way it is written, it doesn’t need the little notes explaining what a particular passage means.  Yet there are those who look at this version as a corrupt book because it isn’t the “literal” translation of the Bible?  My opinion…apply Paul’s message of “what does it matter, the important thing is that Christ is being preached!”

Joel Osteen – I have heard that he is a preacher that preaches prosperity.  I’m going to admit here, I’m not exactly sure what that means.  I have watched him and I am not seeing that.  Now I will admit, when I heard his wife, Victoria, make the comment about doing it for yourself, because God wants us to be happy…I was alarmed, but then I also hadn’t heard the full context of what she was speaking about. Did he or did he not attend Bible college?  I know I didn’t, so does that mean I shouldn’t try to share Christ? That said, I get confused when I then apply Paul’s message of “What does it matter?”  Is it because their net worth is in the millions?  When I have listened to his service, it always ends with get involved in a good Bible-based church.  Is it a feel good message?  I will admit that it is, but I also have found that it hits the nail on the head enough for me to say ouch, more than once.  Again, I apply Paul’s message!  Does a TV ministry just automatically bear the shame of Tammy Faye and Jimmy Baker?  I honestly don't know, I'm asking! 

I know local ministers who have had to bear the shame of their own misfortunes, just saying...I am grateful not to have to be the judge!  I only have to look within and see my own shortcomings!  Who is legitimate?  I base everything I hear on what the Good Book says, no one is always right, except the author of the Bible.  Funny enough, I once heard someone speak about their version of the truth?  Ummmm, am I missing something?  Truth doesn't have versions!
 

“Papa” – referencing God.  Some find this blasphemous.  How dare we relate to God in such a common way.  He is God.  This absolutely cracks me up, because have you ever heard anyone utter G-d damn it?  And we are worried with the familiarity of Papa – which is a translation of “Abba” which means daddy?  Hmmmm.  I love the idea that God who is our King, is approachable!  I love that even though I still have trouble with the don't ideology, that He will meet me where I am and love and accept me as the work in process that I am.

Elevation Church – This is an up and coming church based in Charlotte, NC.  My husband and I went to 2 of the services.  The music was so loud, my husband needed earplugs, but I loved it.  Steven, the minister, has a huge following with many church plants.  He has also written books and been on television.  He is a young, zealous teacher and yet, some find his teachings suspect but I believe it is because they are more concerned about the size of his house amongst other things, so they become suspect mongers.  Really?!!  C’mon people!  On the positive side, he is having a huge impact on the youth and he is applying the use of technology to draw them in.  I think this is wonderful, what does it matter, meaning the how…Christ is being preached.  Is there any correlation to his income and Joel's and that is the reason they are deemed questionable?  Or is it because the message being shared is non-traditional?

I believe that our filters limit us.  When we get use to a certain way of hearing God, we think it is the only way, because we are conditioned to it.  Think about it.  Do you ever go to church and find you are disappointed when the minister you like isn’t the one preaching that day?  I remember David Chadwick from Forest Hill saying something to the effect of, it isn’t about the minister, it’s about the message!  Isn’t that what Paul says?!  I can honestly state, I don’t always “get” the message, if I can’t or don’t relate to the one preaching it.  Maybe I’m just dumb, but I bet I’m not alone!

I believe ministry is a difficult profession.  The minister is tasked with the responsibility of God.  If the ministry is suspect, he then must account to God for leading people astray.  God is the judge, not us!

Finally, I will conclude with a fairly long quote from Derwin Gray’s book “Limitless Life”.  Before moving, I attended Transformation Church, which is an up and coming, multicultural, multigenerational, Jesus centered church. Derwin founded this church and it is located on 521 in South Carolina, just minutes outside of Charlotte, check it out.  This debunks for me the whole issue about religion versus relationship with Jesus and to that end, I will state, I’m NOT religious.

The chapter heading is From Religious to Grace-Covered and the subheading is Religion isn’t Gracious.

“When we live by religion, or works-based righteousness, we are never sure when God is pleased with our behavior.  We are never certain that we are loved.  How do you know when you’ve been good enough if His acceptance of us is based on our behavior?

The motivating fuels to keep climbing the high mountains are fear, shame and guilt.  This toxic soup produces a spiritual Ebola virus that slowly and painfully kills us.  Sadly, religion produces both pride and despair.  Pride says, “Look what I’ve done to earn God’s acceptance, love and blessings.”  Despair says, “I’m tired of trying to live up to God’s standard.  I give up!  I can’t keep the rules.”

Pride produces spiritually arrogant people who look down on others who haven’t climbed the stairway to heaven as high as they have.  Judgmental attitudes and condemnation accompany them the way a nose accompanies a face.  Pride also produces people who hide their sins from God and others.  When you live a performance-based life, you enter into a false “spiritual identity protection program.”  The religious person has an image to protect because he wrongly believes that God accepts, loves and blesses him based on his behavior.  If your behavior does not live up to the standard, then God and people will reject you.

Some of the deepest, darkest sin issues that I have counseled people through have been with longtime churchgoers.  When you don’t realize that Jesus is the basis of acceptance before God, you hide or protect your image through deception.  If you come clean with your issues, the jig is up and you are found out as not being perfect.  The gospel of grace informs us that Jesus went to the cross fully knowing our issues and imperfections.  And so on the cross He died for all of our sins – the past ones, the present ones and the future ones.

I no longer have to hide my sins, because God the Father’s acceptance and love for me is based solely and completely on Jesus.  I’m in Him.  And the more I realize this gospel truth, the less I sin and the more I grow up as a follower of Christ.”

Again, taken from Derwin Gray’s Limitless Life.

To that point – as we all sit in judgment of whatever is different from the way we think how Christ should be taught, I ask as did Paul – What does it matter?  The Hows, Whys, Wheres, Ways and Whens – Christ is being preached. 

I do understand that in 2Timothy chapter 4, “that there will be a great number of people who will gather teachers who will say what their itching ears want to hear.  They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.”  I don’t minimize this and I guess my point is that again, as Paul states in Philippians 1:4, God will sort out the reasons, but a dialogue is better than no dialogue isn’t it? 

Did it matter that my curiosity was peaked by “The Left Behind Series” and “The Shack” instead of religion?  Am I labeled unacceptable because of how I came to know Christ?  Or am I viewed as I should be, like everyone else, a sinner who found truth not based on my own abilities but only by God’s grace?

Looking up!

The Doctrine of Justification

In today’s society we often look at situations that we are involved in (and inwardly feel we shouldn’t be) and rationalize/justify them with a host of reasons.  When we rationalize something it means we explain the situation with plausible reasons even if they aren’t true or appropriate.   The justification process is in trying to show or prove the situation is true.  An example - Government says everyone must have health care and tries to regulate the provider of that healthcare. Government officials do not have to be regulated by their own standards and can opt out of the regulated healthcare.  Now, I can just see the wheels burning and the excuses flying and that’s where we start rationalizing and justifying why and it is therefore no longer a simple equation.  Yes, both groups wind up with healthcare, so you can win that dispute if you want to, but it isn’t equitable.  If you start qualifying with wealth, race, sex etc. you are rationalizing. 

Illegal immigration is another.  Many would like to come across our borders to live what they believe is the American dream.  There is a waiting list, a “right” way to become a citizen.  Those who choose not to enter our country this way usurp our laws and in my opinion make a mockery of all of us who have to abide by those laws.  I don’t have first-hand knowledge on the horrors of oppression and I do not wish harm to anyone, but legality is not a conditional thing.  Any explanation of condition earns the mark of justification through rationalization.  Ok, I’ve ruffled a few feathers I’m sure with these are 2 examples.

I am not morally better than anyone.  I am a sinner, who daily struggles with being real in my walk, yet believes that Jesus came to absolve all of our sins.  He is the common denominator for all of us, whether we believe in Him or not.  At some point, we will all have our turn facing God and having to answer for the lives we chose to live.  I’m reading the book, “Hero” by Derwin Gray, and the chapter I’m on is the one where he talks about wearing a new suit.  Derwin was a former football player, now a Pastor at Transformation Church.  In his youth, Derwin was poor and he watched a movie “Trading Places” where the main character is taken from being poor, given a new suit, a job and money and he seemingly changes.  So, Derwin using the same equation, buys a new white suit when he makes it big time in the NFL (an acronym, and I quote him, meaning “Not for long”).  When wearing the new suit, Derwin feels clean and proud and avoids anything that will make him “dirty”.  What he shares in this chapter though, is our outside cover is just that, if our inside character doesn’t equal what our outside suit is, we are a façade of cleanliness.

Homeowners, do you pamper the outside of your homes or even the insides of your homes making everything appear to be “right looking” but have family lives that are so out of control with abuse, or addictions or discord? Or loneliness or depression? Isn’t it difficult to keep up that type of scenery!  I know so because at one time or another we have all faced something that makes our lives out of sync and we have to act “as if”.  Do you think widowhood is easy in a couples’ world?  A neighbor of mine just said this yesterday stating her widowed friend told her this.  Then thinking of Robin Williams and I would never have guessed he was such a tormented soul, but the mask he wore became his burden.  What is reality?  With whom can we be real?  We even delude ourselves!  We get trapped into a role and can’t seem to find our way out because too often pride stands in the way.  We are afraid of looking weak, so we continue to persevere in our misery with lies that fool no one but ourselves. 

What is the answer? Put on the Jesus suit.  What’s that? I can give a brief description here but I suggest further reading in the Bible.  Jesus suit = Love.  At Transformation Church there is a saying: Upward, Inward, Outward.  It means love God completely (Upward), love ourselves correctly (Inward) and love others compassionately (Outward).  The Jesus suit!  Putting it on daily, means we get unstuck, because we aren’t focused on ourselves, even when we are loving ourselves, because it does say “correctly”, meaning understanding that we are a valued child of God.

This piece is all over the place in its subject matter, but the point is in here somewhere!  And the point is that we need to stop making excuses for everything and go back to our roots/core and take a stand.  How?  Is there a guide line to follow?  Let me leave you with this one, I found it to be pretty powerful – We are all wearing the Jesus suit, whether we want to or not, how does it look on you?  See, when I borrow someone’s clothing, I find myself more conscious of getting it dirty…just saying!  When we meet with resistance rather than taking offense, try thinking that the perpetrator of discord is not liking how their Jesus suit is fitting them and they like how yours looks and can’t understand why it is different.  In response you can keep your suit clean with words of affirmation or sink to their level and risk getting a blemish on yours.

 

Looking up!

Thoughts a Plenty: The Joy of Being

This morning as I casually sipped my coffee, perusing a
daily devotional I was smacked in the heart with a profound realization.  The magnitude of this realization would have registered on a seismograph in the 8.0 area of the Richter scale (earthquake terminology).  I invite you to look into your own lives and hearts, if you aren’t too terrified to do so, and I say that, because once I opened this door, I found I could not shut it and the subsequent sobs left me trembling.

By now most everyone knows I’m widow at the age of 58, and lost my parents all within the same year.  I moved with my best friend to the beach in March and we weathered the loss of both her parents within 3 months of each other.  On, the happier side of life, I became a grandmother not once but twice within 25 days of each other.  And it is here I will begin my story.

For part of this past week, I spent time with my grand-daughter Kylie.  She is really
sweet and just coming into her own personality.  This is such an important time, because as she learns the ways of the world, it will affect her entire life.  Kylie was born with a frown, and she looked so much like my own mother who had the same frown etched into her forehead, that it caused me to laugh out loud.  What the heck does a little baby
have to frown about within minutes of entering the world?  Since that time, her face has erupted in smiles and coos, sneezes, burps and giggles.  Although she does make the sounds of crying, her tear ducts have yet to produce a single drop.  Many times I call
her “sound” her “faker” cry.  New parents quickly learn to differentiate between the various cries of their children.

I digress.  Babies are for this discussion, viewed as a blank slate and until they learn otherwise, they exemplify joy at their deepest level.  I have witnessed stress melt from the bodies of those who come in from work and hold a baby.  Left on their own,
the two (baby and caregiver- whomever that may be) develop a rapport oblivious
to others at that given moment.  Having experienced this, it made me wonder what happens to make us lose that joyousness?

It dawned on me, it boils down to how we experience love, which happened to be the topic of my devotion.  The commentary associated with John 13:35 described love this way: “Love is more than simply warm feelings.  It is an attitude that reveals itself in action.
How can we love others as Jesus loves us?  By helping when it’s not convenient, by
giving when it hurts, by devoting energy to other’s welfare rather than our own, BY ABSORBING HURTS FROM OTHERS WITHOUT COMPLAINING OR FIGHTING BACK
(emphasis added – my own).  This kind of love is hard to do.

Back to babies.  Babies are free to be who they are, up to a certain age anyway, then
they have to conform into a world that has the potential to rob them of all the
little joyous things we value so much – a giggle just because; a fart or burp
because they have gas, a cry (with or without tears because they need something
and don’t know how to communicate it any other way.)

A few weeks ago, as I was travelling with my friend, for some odd reason, I got the giggles.  I don’t know what struck me funny, but I laughed so hard, I couldn’t see – and I was
the one driving.  Nothing funny was said, I just split open and erupted in laughter. And it felt good.  My friend kept asking me what was funny and I couldn’t answer her, which made me suspect for the rest of the evening- no I hadn’t had anything to drink.  See what I
mean?!  My laughter was contagious?  Maybe?  Or maybe I was scaring her?!

This morning after my reading I came to the realization that the world wants us to qualify joy and that reduced me to tears.  When had this invasion of joylessness invaded my world?  Why had I allowed myself to be robbed and why do I allow it to perpetuate?  There is a time and place to be serious, but it doesn’t have to encompass all 24 hours of the day, 365 days of the year!  I have had people question my judgment, call me names, laugh at my inadequacies and made me feel less than and sometimes worthless.

It also made me think of when we have been wronged or have been the person who has been unforgiving.  Really?!  We hold grudges?  Seems ridiculous when one faces the loss of
lives and I truly mean that.  I wish I would have realized that before having gone through what I have, but I now have no time for people who just want to be hateful because they have been offended.  Who has the right to judge?!  Get over it.  Unfortunately we are the only ones who walk in our shoes, everyone else has their own pair!

So, I’m fighting back.  I am not going to let Satan or anyone else take what I deem to be most precious – my joy!  I have walked the lonely path of depression (a sadness that persists beyond description).  I have “controlled” my urges to be silly because I was afraid of what others may say or think.  And you know what?  Everyone is way too caught up in their own mini-dramas to know that life is too damn short. 

I looked at the last pictures I have of my son and me at differing times holding my husband (his father) just before his passing. I looked at the picture of my sisters standing next to my Dad and also the last picture of 2 of my sisters and myself standing with Mom.  These captured for me how fleeting time is.

So, laugh, cry, sing, and shout.  Stop silencing your inner you for the world’s critics because I have a little secret for you – they aren’t happy either and they want to share their misery with you.  In some warped way, if they can make you feel bad, they feel better. 

God’s love is not selfish, it is selfless.  He wants us to feel the joy for all that has
been provided by Him graciously!

Invite me, I love a good laugh.  There's nothing like a great giggle (with or without the baby!)

Looking up!

Faithful? Trusting? Belief? What do they mean?

God is faithful.  Do you know it?  Do you feel it?  Do you believe it?  If I take myself out of the equation, because I filter things, or maybe I should say I unknowingly allow Satan the invitation to filter my thoughts, then, and only then does it seemingly make sense to me.  God promises and He delivers, no ifs, ands or buts.  The problem is my thought processes are limited and therefore when things don’t get done the way I think they should be done, or in the time frame I believe to be sufficient, I am left in doubt.  Too often I believe we set ourselves up for failure.  We also set God up.  Do we pray for silly things as proof of God’s love and devotion to us?  Definition of silly things – winning a game (either ours or our favorite sport’s team), passing a test when we haven’t put in the work of studying for it, expecting to win the lottery and therefore not working to be financially sound, can you add to the list? 

God is faithful to me daily for all the little things I overlook each and every day.  I have my health, loved ones, a roof over my head, food to eat, and so much more.  I take these things for granted expecting more and yet, when I stop and think about all that I do have and then think of those less fortunate than I, I am ashamed.  God gives us life, not problem free life.  Problems are our way of growing in life.  On Sunday, I heard through Joel Osteen about palm tree strength.  In a storm, a palm tree bends over to a point where it might even touch the ground.  In this state somehow its roots are strengthened, whereas an Oak might just uproot and fall.  After the storm, the palm has “bounce back” technology built in, and when it stands upright, it is stronger than before.  Now, as we face our problems, don’t we also share in that bounce-back ability? 

So, if we are challenged with difficulties – lack of health, addictions, financial difficulties, chronic illnesses either ours or our loved ones, does that mean God is not faithful?  I think I have a difficult time grasping bad things happening to good people; as well as understanding that we go through seasons.  I think we get our minds wrapped around negativity and can’t see the forest for the trees in regard to our blessings.  Our eyes get stuck on the moment and we choose not to see the big picture. 

It takes more muscles to frown than to smile and yet, we actively pursue the frown workout when we choose to stay stuck in negativity.  Does it feel good in this place?  It doesn’t for me, and yet I stay rooted here.  Why? 

Because we follow the path of least resistance.  Is it better to stay in the known “hell” than try to move out into the unknown?  We may believe this to be true, because we already know how to adapt to what we are experiencing and we fear the unknown. 

Last story – a man was hiking on a mountainous trail admiring the view.  He came to a treacherous spot and had a choice to make, go the easy, longer way or take the shorter more difficult route.  The man was secure in his abilities almost to the point of egomania, so he chose the shorter way.  As he is hiking, his feet slip and he finds himself dangling from a tree limb with his grasp weakening.  His time is short and his attempts of pulling himself up are futile.  Out of the blue, he calls to God for help.  God answers him, but first asks him a question.  The question was “Do you trust me?”  The man feels his grip sliding, but the question annoys him?  “God, I need your help now!  Not a lecture!”  God replies “Well, if you trust me, let go.”  The man now is angry and says “if I let go, I’ll fall and die!  How can I trust you with that being your answer?”  God says once again to him, “If you trust me, let go.”  The man, begrudgingly acknowledges his trust in God, feeling he doesn’t have a choice and he lets go.  When he does, he drops 4 inches onto a ledge.  The man didn’t see the full picture in his dilemma, but God did and does for each of us!  Do you trust God or are you and I only confident in what we know and see? 

I’d love to know what the man thought after this – did he feel tricked by God or was he grateful?  What would you feel?  Do we only know God in difficult times?  In good times is there no God?  Final thought – God admittedly states that He is jealous for our attention.  If the only time we think of Him is in our problematic state, might He be keeping us there to keep us near Him?  Hmmmm…..thought provoking to say the least!