Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

A young woman stands looking in the mirror and reflecting back on all of her imperfections.  She thinks, well, at least I’m honest about myself.  My nose is too big, my mouth too generous, my stomach too flabby and my hips, my arms, my thighs, ugh….. I’m ugly, how can anyone love me?   Does this describe anyone you know?

I use to teach Physical Education grades 6-9.  Body image is of the utmost concern at this age, and seems to continue on throughout our lives.  We are constantly reminded of our imperfections especially in light of the airbrushing that takes place in the magazines we buy.  A few days ago, I wrote a blog about “shopping for THE dress” and I was lamenting about my own size and this got me thinking.

I’m the mother of two beautiful children.  But any mother would say that about her child(ren), right?  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, it is an old cliché which means we see beauty in someone because we are looking not just with our eyes, but also with our hearts.  A child is created when an egg is fertilized by a sperm, this happens for the most part in a loving atmosphere.  I say for the most part because I am aware that this also occurs during rape, or in other abusive relationships.  I believe regardless of the atmosphere in which a child is created, it is God’s love that determines his/her beauty.  You see, beauty comes from one’s heart, not from the topicals we apply.

As a mother of these children, whom I love dearly, I would be sad to know that they who, were created in love, felt other than beautiful.  You see, beautiful and perfect are not mutually interchangeable.  Perfect has been reserved for God and since I don’t know anyone who is God, we all will have imperfections!  But earthly beauty is the celebration of those imperfections.   Who are we to tell God he created something unworthy?  Because that is exactly what we do, when we reject what we’ve been given!

Think about this a second.  Each of us is an individual, created by a loving God, who doesn’t make mistakes, he’s incapable of doing so.  I envision God reaching into His bin of perfectly made body parts and fashioning each of us in His image of perfection.  Notice I said His image of perfection, not ours!  This side of heaven we won’t know why some people are disfigured in “our” eyes, but they aren’t disfigured in God’s eyes!  For the most part, again accounting for the depravities of society, parents of “imperfect” children, love that child regardless of his/her differences.  Yes, differences not flaws!

Magazines, television and movies “control” our self-images and we have voluntarily given them the control whenever we compare ourselves.  We don’t need cosmetic surgery as much as we need heart surgery.  If our hearts were expanded to be able to see the way God sees us, we’d soon realize that we are more beautiful than what is staring back at us through those fun house mirrors we are gazing into.  And, before you think this is only about women, let me tell you it isn’t.  The guys are equally conscious of their less than perfect bodies! 

What’s your favorite part of yourself?  When looking at others, what most attracts you to someone else?  Why?  For me, it is the person’s eyes.  The eyes to me are a reflection of a person’s heart and they tell me the story of who they are without words.  While everyone around me is worried about wrinkles and fat, I don’t see it, because I’m looking beneath that outer veneer and seeing their true beauty in their hearts.  No, I am not that “good,” and it was through Godly intervention that I came to this conclusion!  Now I just want others to consider it as well!

Now some of you are getting wigged out about this.  I have friends who are so conscious of the condition of their homes that they won’t invite someone over if the house isn’t perfect, and consequently, they never have anyone over.  I have friends who hide their gaze from me.  Have you ever talked with someone whose eyes never meet yours, in fact trying to track them is like running a marathon, their eyes shift back and forth so much you are exhausted by the end of the conversation and you feel you never connected.  These people aren’t inviting me (or anyone else) into their hearts and I can only imagine it is because there is clutter or confusion there.

Eye contact is a form of intimacy, and intimacy’s “old” definition use to mean having to do with sex.  But it is so much more than just that, it is a connection with someone’s heart AND soul and most of us can’t handle that level of connection because our “houses” aren’t perfect.  These bodies we’ve been given are temporary shelters housing that sacred inner being that longs for something beyond this world.  Some of us aren’t sure “what” that is, so we embark on a never-ending search for that which will complete us.  Our brains tell us try this, when what we need to do is listen to our hearts.  See, our hearts can’t lie to us, but our minds can and will play tricks on us.

Take another look in that mirror, but this time, look with your heart!  See what God’s sees.

Looking up!~Barb