Quilt backing

I was talking with a friend the other day.  The experience was delightful.  I could hear the cadence in her voice, the nuances of joy in her feelings and the depths of her pain.  Our conversation lasted about 40 minutes or so and I feel it did us both a world of good! We talked in a circle segueing in interesting patterns. I think we both came away with the feeling of being “heard.”

I am not blessed with the ability to sew.  Actually this was part of our conversation.  I mentioned that it seems like whenever I get next to the sewing machine, the bobbin and thread start a conspiratorial conversation against me.  I will be sewing a long and when I flip the piece I’m working on over, I find that the bottom thread is all snaggled.  My sister on the other hand can make sewing look like child’s play.

OK, so what does one paragraph have to do with the other?  Well, I’d like to make a quilt, but my quilt won’t be made of regular fabric.  My quilt will be made up of the pieces of my life that I stitch together with something other than a sewing machine.  To make my quilt, I will need to gather my supplies.  I will need fabric for the backing, batting and then the pieces that will enable me to tell my story.  I will need something called a rotary wheel cutter and mat with a ruler, then too I will need an iron and some starch, some pins, plus the needle and thread to join it all together.

The essence of the quilt is the story it shares along with the warmth it has lying beneath it before the backing.  So where do we start in making a quilt?  Most people start with the top layer, the story.  But I’ll start with the backing.  For most of us, our backing is our family.  For some, the backing is quite extensive.  This backing is the layer of how we came to be, where our opinions were initially formed, where our goals were initially set, and for some where we watched how our parents did things they told us not to do.  For some, not all, this backing was one filled with love.  The backing is the fabric that allows some to feel at home in any given situation.  For those whose backing was less than optimal, they can feel a sense of unease, a sense of constant competitiveness as if they aren’t enough, if they aren’t the top dog.  And finally for some they fall somewhere in-between, neither having had too much, nor too little, just kind of being there having been provided with the basics.  I am one of the fortunate ones I think, because I am able to say that I was blessed with really great backing.

Another friend just got back from delivering the eulogy at her mother’s funeral; again I’m impressed by the quality of the backing in some of our quilts.  Her ability to stand up and offer a testimony on the love, devotion, and care provided throughout a lifetime, is a precious gift that keeps on giving for generations to come.  There is security in this layer, a security of shared experiences of love and sometimes hurt.  Experiences where we find it is sometimes beyond difficult to withhold our comments or judgments or sometimes we even have to let our own loved ones hurt, so they can grow.  But it is also an experience that testifies about goodness, and when a hug says more than our words possibly say. 

Quality backing doesn’t fray when it encounters crisis.  It can withstand the need for washing (life’s messes) and the heat of drying.  It is after all, the layer closest to us, unless we place something in between it.  I can only hope that the backing my husband and I provided for our kids, will withstand the test of time when they face the challenges in their lives, as the backing supplied by my parents has and continues to do so for me. 

End part 1

Looking up! ~ Barb