Mixed messages

Are you sending mixed messages, like I am?  I’m sure I’m not alone in this, but until this morning I was almost positive that this didn’t apply to me!  Well, at least in my view, until a friend pointed it out.  I tried my bag of tricks (rationalizations) and they didn’t cut it.  I had to finally admit, I was and am part of the society of tangled web weavers.

How did that saying use to go?  Oh the tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive…..  quite a few months ago, I wrote a blog about people wearing masks.  I went on about how I wished that people would take off their masks and just be whoever they were meant to be.  I thought that then, I still think that now, the web being woven though was how I put into practice what I preached.

If I say I want to lose weight, but secretly snack on chocolate, if I say I want a relationship but never make time for one, if I say I want a new job/career but do everything in my power to put up boundaries that negate my availability, if I say I want to quit drugs or alcohol but always put off until tomorrow actually putting down the drug or alcohol……..I could want to for the rest of my life!  In fact, my new position in life could be the want to.

While not all of the above want tos above apply to me, some of them do and as a friend helped me see this morning, my rationalizations on doing tomorrow what I need to be doing today only prolong whatever God’s plan is for me as well as my discomfort.  Who in the world wants to prolong discomfort…..but we all do it, because again, as the saying goes, “better the devil you know than the one you don’t know” and you need to look at that line closely, it mentions the devil.  Satan is real and he does not want you to accomplish anything good thing  God has planned for you, so he will tempt and torment you into believing his lies.

C’mon one more bite of that chocolate, one more drink….you deserve it, it’s a celebration…..who’s to know if you cheat here and there? I won’t tell if you won’t.  Well let me tell you, no one might tell on you, but your pants will, when they don’t fit!

We have gotten so good at rationalizing that we have gotten to the point of avoiding the people who hold us accountable.  I’m not kidding.  It is difficult to hear that we are failing and we don’t want to be reminded of it, it is so much easier to hook up with people who say they love us, when in fact what they love is the company that allows them to stay in their perpetual state of misery and have a buddy to boot!

If I’m sounding harsh, I guess I am because I’m one of the ones in that perpetual state and I talk about trying to move beyond it, but find myself backsliding.  There are 4 stages of dealing with difficult scenarios, most notably used when dealing with an illness.  First is denial, then it is anger, then there is bargaining and finally acceptance.  Just because you make it through one, does not mean you don’t re-visit it.  Most of us get stuck in denial.  No we don’t have a problem, or in the grand scheme of things, this isn’t a big deal, it’s a small white lie, no one knows….well you know what someone does know, You know and on top of that, God knows.  So often when we get caught in our webs, we feel remorse but I bet 99% of the time, that remorse is a product of only being caught, because if we hadn’t gotten caught, we’d probably still be doing whatever it was unless our consciences finally kicked in!

I have a friend going through rehab…..again.  Do you know how hard it is to break a sequence when you are only doing something because someone else expects you to do it?  That’s not the solution, each of us has to recognize our own problems, take ownership and then individually decide, for ourselves that we in fact want to change.  Nothing will stick, if we aren’t the ones wanting it.  How much do we have to lose before we understand the cost of what it is we are losing?

Is losing your job, your friends, your family, your financial well being, your self esteem, not enough?  What about your life?  What sticks in my mind, as a believer in Christ, as a person who speaks about the relationship with Christ, that when I do not die to that thing, whatever that thing is (aka sin also known as rationalization), then Jesus hung on that cross for no good reason.  Anything and I do mean anything that takes a precedence in my life (chocolate, alcohol, friends, jobs, fun) meant that God’s Son died for no reason.   And just so you know, all those aforementioned things are not necessarily bad, just because you are believer, it is all about moderation and perspective!  What comes first in your idol worshipping?

No, I’m not on some high horse mind you, this entire blog started because of my own rationalizations.  Recognizing yourself is the first step to taking the necessary steps of fixing what is broken – at least I hope so!

Looking up and forward to seeing you on the flipside!

Barb