"What if"

What if, the possibilities seem limitless or they can seem confining, it’s all in a matter of perspective.  To a young person, the world seems to be neverending filled with infinite possibilities as far as their dreams can take them; they have many roads to traverse, journeys to be taken, and memories to be made.  They are in a rush to get somewhere, anywhere, just not where they are right now!  Yet, to an aged person, the sky seems to have lowered where limits are realized and the journeys as well as the roads have mostly been travelled and some have ended back where they began.  Memories were made but the thoughts running through their minds now seem to center around where the time went and why it went so fast!  They want to slow down and savor the moments, wishing for lost time back.

I find myself somewhere in between feeling a bit of the melancholy that a parent does when their role seems to shift.  Gone are the days of being needed for just about everything and anything, to the more casual, very occasional favor.  What I once saw as endless possibilities, I now fear lack of choice with age. It’s the loss of wanderlust of adventure, wanting instead the security of the familiar and in some respects that saddens me.  You see, there are still some of the same questions I had with growing up, the main one being what I wanted to be as if just being who I was wasn’t enough!

Did I set the world on fire?  Was I supposed to?  Did I make a difference, will I be remembered?  Or, did I just mark time with countless others watching days slip by.  No, I didn’t have grand plans, the limelight is not what I sought, but I had hopes and dreams and wanted the satisfaction of hearing “well done, good and faithful servant.”  I tarried and dappled in different realms but lacked the stick-to-it-ness to have risen above mediocrity.  Blending isn’t a bad thing, if you are a soup. 

So I say to those of you still young enough to do so, instead of seeking to have it all, choose wisely and strive to make your mark, be passionate not lukewarm.  The choices are yours to make, but in making those choices consider everything not just what’s in it for you.  Choose to glorify God first, choose to love, starting with yourself, and then let your love have the trickle down effect, sharing it with others. 

Don’t misread what I have written, I am mostly content, my life to this point and beyond has shared the road with ups and downs.  This is written more from the perspective of advice I might give if those ascending to the summit were interested in hearing the tale from one on their descent.  I still have many a mountain to climb, its just that their peaks might not be as tall.  I’m no longer rushing and there is security in savoring the beauty of God’s creation.

To my kids, we did the best we could and as the song about Blessings by Laura Story goes – What if your blessings come through raindrops, what if your healing comes through tears…..what if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise?  Just remember, this is not and was never meant to be our home!

Looking up!~ Barb