Connected?

Does anyone else notice that we have found more and more ways to be attached without being connected?  Email, texting, instant messaging, face book, tweeting, and blogging – oops….All of these methods offer a screen of semi-detachment, meaning you can decide to not “log” on, if you choose.  My husband and I go to church on Saturday evenings and during the announcements, they were talking about our need to be connected in small groups or as they term them “life groups.”  Our church is pretty big and the idea of church is not just to come together weekly and look/listen to one person speaking and the back of a lot of other heads, but instead to meet in small groups (even Jesus had a small group – the 12 disciples!).  This does not mean that you don’t come to church, but more that “church” isn’t just a one day event (be it Saturday or Sunday), but the opportunity to meet more often.  The small group is also that set of people who are then available to you in a more personal way to do service projects with, to socialize with and to stand by your side when you encounter life’s joys and hardships.  Our church recognizes through its sheer size that the pastoral staff can’t meet everyone’s individual needs at the same time, although they do offer a host of programs for the various needs out there.

That said, Bruce and I go to church, and sit in the same seats or one row behind, where we normally would sit, based on whether or not we get there first.  Comically, another couple we chat with every week, also try for these seats!  BTW, the church has stadium seating like in a movie theatre and just for the record, we like these people!  When it is all said and done though, we really don’t know anyone at this church, mainly because of its size and added to that, Bruce and I aren’t involved in other aspects like choir, ushering, greeting etc.  Again, the church recognizes that this is all too often the case and is the reason they suggest these small groups.

Here’s the thing though.  People are busy, and we are no exception.  My feeling is that instead of joining a “new” small group, I would just like to take “my” group of friends and do this same thing.  To me a “life” group is about sharing your “life,” and that doesn’t just mean the pretty parts of it.  To make the life group work though, you have to start with some basic parameters and for me that means you have to share a common thread or attitude.   It doesn’t mean that you can’t have differing opinions about things, but that you agree about some of the basics. 

The main point being that we need to have people in our lives!  People who agree to stand by us, no matter what.  We need to reach out and connect, not just through the “convenient” methods of technology, but through face to face contact.  Some say, well, that is what family is for and while I agree to a point, I worry about “dumping” my problems on my children and their taking them on, without the benefit of maturity, not to mention that those in close proximity to the problem may either be part of the problem or too close to be able to grasp its magnitude.  I have seen firsthand a child take on the very same characteristics that one parent is trying to share about the other parent!  Do we really want to pit ourselves against our spouse in front of our kids?  Our kids want and need to be able to love us both and they feel uncomfortable hearing whatever diatribe one parent has against the other!   People in our own age bracket, may have had similar life experiences, and those younger or older can also offer perspective, but those not connected by family can safely offer suggestions being that one step removed and not so closely invested! 

Back in the day, neighbors were probably the essence of the life group.  I remember when the neighbors got together using one set of plans and a case of beer and they built one back porch after another right down the street.  To this day, those porches still stand and funny enough, most of these people are still neighbors.  No they didn’t agree on everything, but they certainly did help one another out and still continue to do so.  This is what I feel has been lost in our society with our impersonal “connections” and what I feel our church is trying to re-establish!

What say you?  Are you connected?

Looking up!~Barb