We have been constructed in the most extraordinary manner and for the most part, we aren’t even aware of it. We have been created with a built-in feedback system of God’s design. We may think we have the market cornered on how we want to live our lives, the goals we have set for ourselves, but sometimes life does not work out just the way we’ve planned.
We are starting a small bible study, studying the book of Jonah, through Priscilla Shiver’s text, “Jonah, Navigating a Life-Interrupted.” In the first week, she lays out a formula that is really telling, at least to me! If you add an insignificant person and an insignificant event you wind up with a major interruption. However, if you add a person of significance with an event of significance you wind up with a divine encounter. It is all in the perception of the person and the event that is taking place and how we “assign” importance to each of these two aspects. It really makes one stop and think, because if you are forever being blown off by someone, you might start to think you are pretty darn insignificant! Too often, the relationship is a matter of "what's in it for me?" Whereas in the case of the significance of the event it might be based on whether we see things as obstacles, challenges or dilemmas to overcome or excuses not to try. I'm not judging, it is up to each of us to view these things on our own, in our own God's truths.
This leads me back to our internal construction….if “our plans” regardless of how noble or well-intended they might be, don’t line up with God’s plans, they won’t occur. But how do you realize whether or not your plans actually do line up with God’s? Are you ready? This is actually pretty cool…..we use God’s feedback system that He has carefully created within us. The feedback system is our emotions.
In a daily devotional I read “Daily in Christ,” this was explained as when we experience an event or a relationship that leaves us feeling anxious, angry or even depressed, these might be a sign that we are holding onto a faulty goal based on a wrong belief. If the goals become blocked we become angry, if our goals are uncertain, we become anxious and if we see our goals as impossible we become hopeless, which is at the heart of depression. Without God’s intervention, none of these things can change, yet, if we view these same events/relationships from God’s perspective, and we have a good biblical understanding of the meaning of success, significance, joy, satisfaction, peace and security we will be able to reach our goals. Why? Because we will want, what God wants for us!
What does this mean? Again, using a relationship going nowhere, if you find yourself beating your head against the wall trying to establish a bond and your compatibility factors are so low to almost non-existent, there is a good chance that this is not a relationship that is meant to be. When I think of this, my mind immediately goes to two people trying to date, the saying goes you should never judge a book by its cover….you could wind up with two nice people, with absolutely nothing in common, but just because they are nice people you think they should match. Relationships take time to establish, you have to get beyond the surface, beyond the people pleasing aspects to decide if this is a relationship you want to continue being part of. Same thing with a job. In today’s market, no one wants to turn down the chance of employment, and yet, by taking anything that comes up the pike, one might be stealing someone else’s blessing and secondly rendering themselves out of the loop for what might have been their big reward. I believe all too often, people just take advantage of “I hold onto this job or this relationship, in the event that nothing else comes along, at least I’ll have something or worse yet someone”……and they are never happy. They exist, and complain and feel angry, depressed or anxious. Somewhere I’ve heard it put like this, that you can’t grab hold of anything, if your hand is already clenched in a fist.
We shouldn’t let our emotions dictate our lives, but we should listen to what our emotions are telling us about a given situation or a given relationship. God ingrained this in us for a reason. Our happiness is our responsibility and by assigning it to others or other things I feel is a major copout. We can’t, nor should we try to change anyone else. We can offer to be supportive and even from a Christian standpoint we can lead by being the light, but it isn’t our responsibility to turn that light on in others, it is their choice to see the light and decide for themselves whether or not they want to participate.
I am an includer and an encourager and sometimes this is easier to be than at other times. I try not to get discouraged when I see a situation that I know might benefit someone and they either ignore it or just don’t see it. It saddens me to reach out to empty air. I’ve learned not to let it “get to me.” My expectations are just that, mine and I can’t expect anyone else to want to live up to them. On the occasions that I have had those expectations met, I can only describe what has amounted to extreme joy and satisfaction. It is in those moments, that you find yourself wanting to stay connected and thus you make attempts to pursue those passions or those people.
I’ve had to learn that I’m not the one in control, God is. The harder or tighter I try to hold onto “my” ways, the longer it takes for me to reach out and find the treasures that God has buried within me. And just now, this idea has popped into my mind. Our lives are full of buried treasure within us, it is up to each of us to find the map and go on our own archeological digs. No two of us are alike (even if we are twins), we are each created by God as significant individuals. We each possess everything we “NEED” to do our own explorations, but it is up to us, to do the work behind it. Hmmmmm……I think I need to go get out my pick axe and start chipping away at my walls to get to my foundation to make sure it is secure!!!
Looking up!~Barb
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