Bull’s eye! I get it! It took me a while! This morning my phone started ringing off the hook at about 9. Normally I am up and out on Saturday mornings, but this morning I just decided to hang! It was one of the best mornings ever! In talking with a friend on one of my phone conversations this morning, the person I was talking with mentioned a dilemma they were going through. I listened and didn’t say much, because as I am learning, we (ALL) have to learn to work through our own situations. After a few more phone calls, I finally got dressed and took our dogs for a walk, and it was then that I heard the tiny whisper of God in my heart. What I heard in answer to the dilemma I listened to this morning (and then out of the blue applied to myself?) was that in any situation where we feel the need for change, we need to make sure that while we are running to something, it is not because we are running away from something else.
Let me explain what that means and I will use my own situation as an example. We are all quite aware of the current economic conditions and as small business owners my husband and I are navigating waters we never anticipated. My husband has remained stalwart in his convictions about our business and I at times might have complained that he seems more stubborn than stalwart. The difference being that stalwart is determined and committed versus stubbornness’ being inflexible and obstinate. Let’s not split hairs over the definition though. I on the other hand, see what I think is the handwriting on the wall in regard to business and proceed to make overtures in a new direction. Some might think that was wise, I mean I did! But here is where this lesson I just came to understand comes in; I tried to circumvent God’s will in my seizing control of my steps. I was running to something I thought was a good and an admirable thing and wishing to pursue it to benefit others (another good thing) BUT by doing so, I was relying on me to fulfill our monetary needs rather than trusting in God’s provision. I was running to something good but it was because I was running from what I feared.
So, what’s wrong with that? Well, apparently because I still haven’t gotten a job in the career I was running to, I’ve had to re-look and re-examine my motives. And what sticks out like a sore thumb about to encounter another blow by the proverbial hammer, is that God wants me to trust Him and to stop trusting in myself. Money is an idol – an idol is anything we have that we value more than we value our relationship with God. So, in my having enough money, I don’t have to rely on God for anything because I am self-sufficient. I've been mocking God; saying I believe but not believing, because I wasn't even secretive in my approach to pursuing my own way. And what I found out was that God will NOT be mocked!
In the four years my husband and I have struggled, we still have a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, and food on the table. We’ve had to cut back in a huge way but in doing so, I have “unstuffed” my need to try and glean satisfaction in things. So, now what do I do? Well, now that the realization has presented itself to me, I need to deal with my fear and I do that by facing it. Do I have faith or don’t I? I need to name my fears and then deal with them. Most of our fears are groundless and never actually become reality and I’m not just trying to make light of fear! Some of mine loom large! That said, sometimes in succumbing to our fears, we in fact force them into being. An example is one who worries about being sick, so much that they worry themselves into the state of sickness.
I have a friend who also lost her way. She thought the road she was taking was the road God was leading her on, and that road turned out to have nightmarish details embedded in it. What I admire about this friend is that she recognized this and is now seeking to retrace her steps back to the field she once enjoyed with both passion and success.
Money is a real problem these days. I have numerous friends who have shared with me their stories about tithing. Unfortunately until recently I haven’t “bought” into it. But I am now in the process of trying it and you know what? Just as my friends depicted and as is mentioned in the Bible, giving (and it has to be with the right heart, so joyfully giving) has resulted in a recent influx of God’s blessings in my life.
There will always be enticing things that want to lead us down paths we should probably never consider. The grass usually does look better when it is growing over a septic tank, but do we want to put up with the stench that comes with it? What I would suggest when presented with a life changing choice is that we make a list – why do we want what we want but then we also need to make a list of what we are leaving behind if our dreams became our realities. Then we need to take the rose colored glasses off.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but I’m willing to bet that somewhere in the grand scheme of our dreams, the issue of money is buried. Like many out there, my financial future is questionable at best, but sacrificing my joy has not been worth it. We will always find something else to want and the hole inside us was only meant to be filled by God. Because of the gift of free will given to us by Him, He will allow us to continue on our way, if or until we finally realize that nothing will ever be enough. And in that day, we will finally have to relinquish our desires and learn to trust the One and Only One who can make us complete.
Looking up!~
Barb
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