Have you ever had the experience of finally realizing something so profound that you feel as if someone has finally taken the window shade and pulled on it and it suddenly retracted exposing a beautiful sunrise? Yes, it includes the snap and whapping of sound as the shade rolls around that cylinder!
Yesterday was the wedding shower for my future daughter-in-law. It was a wonderful affair, held in a beautiful home, with lots of delicious food and she received many wonderful gifts. All-in-all it was a wonderful day! I was pleased to share this day with not only her, but also with the other attendees. But something important stuck out to me and it was only in talking with another friend, who in fact was there and then left to attend another shower, that made me pause a moment to reflect. That thought was, “it isn’t about things.” Please understand, I am not ungrateful by any stretch of the imagination, I am just on this journey and trying to comprehend its meaning.
In talking with friends, I have become aware of daily struggles each of us faces. Personally my struggles have revolved around health issues of those I love, financial struggles due to a fluctuating economy which has taken me to a place of no income through loss of job, through the uncertainty of where/what I am supposed to be doing with my life now that my kids are grown and my role of Mom has changed. I am also aware of others struggles as they deal with the decline of their parents, depression, addiction and death of loved ones. This is some pretty heavy stuff we are facing and we can find ourselves mindlessly filling our lives with “things.” These “things” can be food, alcohol, and material possessions.
Just when I think I’m getting the point, a new point was interjected that I had never even considered before! In conversation with this same aforementioned friend, the two of us have come to the realization that the more “things” we possess, the more complicated our lives are. “Things” take upkeep. Upkeep takes time and costs money not to mention the effort one has to expend to perform the task necessary for the upkeep. I was coasting along, feeling pretty confident in my ability to recognize this profoundness when all of a sudden I was brought up short.
It isn’t only “things” that I have tried to fill my cup with to overflowing; I’ve tried to do it in my relationships as well! I have unfortunately tried to assign people to that place that is God’s and God’s alone! What does that mean? I believe we all have the desire to be liked/loved and we go to extraordinary measures sometimes to make relationships happen or work. When our expectations of others, doesn’t meet with what we desire, the natural inclination is to be disappointed. It is how we handle this disappointment that was the dawning sunrise for me. Said another way, if recognition of a problem is the key to solving the problem, then let’s just say I’ve put the key in the keyhole! I look for the tangibility of God’s love to be manifested in people. People unfortunately are fallible and largely incapable of filling others needs as expected and thus ensues the cycle of hurt and disappointment that is not depicted in any of Norman Rockwell’s paintings!
In my frustration I then substitute _____________ as my source of comfort. I’ve purposely left my substitution choice blank because it fluctuates. I have put food, alcohol, and material purchases in that blank and I have done so mindlessly. I need only to look around me to see the excesses to which I have succumb to. What this realization does for me is to allow me to take these unreal expectations off of others and place it where it rightly belongs…..with God. Many people have a difficult time (as I once did) realizing that God isn’t just some distant power supply. He created us in His image and He invites us into an intimate relationship with Him. Some may read this and think this is some sanctimonious BS I’m slinging, and at one time I may have thought you correct. But, I have learned otherwise and as the pieces to my puzzle start laying out the pattern of my life, I am finally becoming aware that the picture I’m putting together is one of me walking hand in hand with God!
Looking up!~Barb
Barb, funny your post should be this topic today. I just had a conversation with my daughter who is being forced to sell her home (a home full of love , memories and junk) about parring down the things that are really not a necessity and not enhancing her life EVERY day! She has done well, but I think reading your blog will put a new shine on the lesson I was trying to pass along to her.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Barb, not sanctimonious at all, just correct!!