Oneway - ouch!

One way.  The directional flow is a specific course without the benefit of return.   Used most often to describe roads, this is also a trend that appears in our relationships and conversations.  Have you ever felt like you were involved in a one way relationship?  I certainly have.

This relationship takes the form when one of the parties involved is seemingly doing all the “work” of the relationship.  Examples would be making the plans, placing the calls, checking in periodically, offering suggestions, keeping in touch….you get the idea.  Initially, this person is willing to do “more” because they see the potential in the relationship, but after a while, when it becomes apparent that only responses are being given, with no attempt at initiation on the others part, the relationship falters.   Sometimes you hear excuses about being busy and the excuses are just that, excuses for not placing the importance on whatever the relationship is.  What takes priority in our lives is what we make time for.

We are all on schedules.  We need to work, to take care of our families and somewhere in between those times we need to take care of ourselves with eating and exercising.  There are only 24 hours in any given day, right?!  So where do we make time for relationships?  It is very easy to put ourselves at the mercy of others saying that you are being controlled by outside forces rather than owning up to the fact that you’ve allowed those forces to seize control over you.  Whatever the activity that seemingly dominates your life is your choice of action, whether or not you want to believe it or not.  Letting others control your time means that healthy boundaries have not been set.

I’m sure I’ve ruffled a few feathers in the description I’ve just written.  I am a product of too many one-sided relationships, BUT as I am learning, I am also a contributor to this directionally challenged ideal as well.  Having been forced to take my blinders off, I realize that in my relationship with God, I have allowed Him to pursue me, when it has been convenient aka, when I needed Him.  There is a saying that in “good times, no God; but in bad times, know God!”

If I can grow tired of “one-sided” relationships, I wonder how God must feel being used when it is convenient?!  He is at least all knowing, all forgiving whereas I unfortunately am not.  He is patient and understanding but there is a point and that point is a point of no return.  In our humanness, we reach that point much earlier in our relationships where we just finally say, ok, I can’t do it anymore; if this relationship is to continue, the other person is going to have to pick up the slack.  Sometimes you keep extending that line in the sand hoping that they will realize what is at stake.  Sometimes they do, and sometimes they just don’t have it in them to notice or care.  But with God, He is long-suffering.  He endures our idiosyncrasies because He knows our hearts.  But there is a timeline when God’s understandings reach an end and that time line runs out with the end of our lives.  The scary part, none of us knows when that time-line is!

One-sided relationships hurt through the sting of rejection.  Can you imagine knocking at a door, having it opened and then shut in your face, without explanation or worse, by someone saying they are too busy?  I’ve had it done to me!  So put in a Godly perspective, when we reach heaven’s gate and our knock goes unanswered, will we finally realize that our excuses were finally believed and we are left on our own?  Is that really the choice we want?  Will our jobs or our things make up for the lack of relationship?  I dare say no!

I’m not judging, we are all responsible in the end for the lives we live here and now.  Me, I’m looking forward to the give and take between people who want the exchange, and especially the intimate shared relationship I am building with God!

Looking up! ~Barb