Cha, cha, cha, changes

Have you ever gotten quiet with yourself? I mean real quiet, no radio or tv, no cell phone or Ipad. What do you hear? Today I’m home a bit earlier than expected and I’ve wanted to write something about the need for solitude. Here goes….
I recently read about an ailment called soul-sickness and found it’s meaning so apropos, that I can’t help but share it. Soul-sickness comes in a variety of forms and the one I want to speak about is busyness. Recently my days have been consumed with things other than what I wish for them to be. Partly it is my job and it is necessary, but other times I feel compelled to move to the beat of someone else’s drum and in doing so, I find not only am I exhausted, but I’m also feeling depressed. Joy is absent and those who know me best know what I am talking about.

You know when you have a cold and you ache and you are tired and you feel foggy. Well that describes me, although I’m not ill. I said to a friend the other day, I don’t want to "do" anything, I just want to "be." Which translated means if there is an agenda involved (specifics of times and places) I’d rather pass. I feel too busy. For some busyness assures them of their identity, they’ve got places to go, people to see and things that must get done. They get satisfaction from checking things off their things to do list and feel accomplished. I use to feel this way, I was a "do-er". But all the doing left me unsatisfied and empty. I not only didn’t feel important (not that that is important to me), I felt disillusioned. Have you ever felt – "Is this all there is?"

I have often blogged about being real and I thought I was. I thought I was on the road to transformation until I read this passage in the book The Lazarus Life. "Many of us in the West mistakenly believe that transformation happens when we get more information and get all the facts straight. Many of the programs developed for Christians today are based on that FALSE assumption. More teaching, more seminars and more notebooks do NOT result in a transformed life…The tombs of life teach us that information alone does not lead to a transformed life. Neither does trying harder or wallowing in shame and blame because of all of our failed attempts. Spiritual transformation requires a gut-level honesty about our fears, disappointments, disillusionments and failures. We are transformed when we allow God to do what information fails to do. We are transformed when we look at our lives and become aware of our real condition- no matter how bad it is, and face the truth about it."

What I have found out about myself is that by scheduling myself so much with what I thought were quality endeavors, I have drowned out the voice of God. I am not hearing Him and should I hear Him, I know I would be too tired to react. Cutting back should be easy, emphasis should. When the activities you are doing though are with someone else who isn’t necessarily on the same page as you (maybe not even in the same book!), feelings are apt to be hurt.

Do you know who Lazarus is (in the Bible)? He’s the friend whom Jesus loved, the brother of Mary and Martha and he’s the one who died and Jesus brought him back from the dead. Well, in the book The Lazarus Life the significance of the story is that Jesus "lingered" to the point of it being too late and Lazarus dies and is in his tomb. I am only a quarter of the way through this fascinating book full of symbolism. Stephen W. Smith, the author, equates the Lazarus’ tomb as our areas of darkness where we neither know if we are coming or going. "Without the darkness of the tomb, we still walk in our own light and attempt to live what we think is life." When he described his own life, Smith talked about the sin of busyness which assured him (and me) of his identity (me too) and assuaged his need to be loved. His busyness gave him the feeling of significance. As an extrovert he was afraid of solitude and suspicious of silence. Yet it was in silence that he began to find his true self and he discovered a heart embedded in him that had gotten lost along the way. Ok, not sure if I should quote that or just say I paraphrased a bunch of it…..we will go with the latter. No matter, wow did that all resonate with me!! I bought a green highlighter and I’m finding that there is more of this book being highlighted than left untouched! This writer, who happens to be the brother-in-law of a good friend, leaves me speechless in that he is writing almost to the "t" what it is I’m feeling. Talk about resonating!

For over a year I have been doing Bible studies with a friend and it is only just recently where I feel the message is not sinking in. It isn’t that I’m not interested in reading more and discussing it, although I’m beginning to think, at least for me, there this is an element of pride becoming attached with any dazzling commentary I might make and this is precisely what brought me up short. I’m only giving lip service not doing the application parts. I’m becoming booksmart, but not transformed.

Getting back to "being" not doing – repeatedly it has been stated that our efforts will not get us into heaven and yet we keep busting our butts in an effort to try to please God. What does it mean though if all of our efforts to do good works are conjoined with minds holding grudges or resentments? Over and over and over again, I read that we are to love one another. Loving others is NOT conditional based on their performance or how I feel and yet many of us rationalize our behaviors in this particular manner.

Are we able to forgive and let it go? Or do we only give this lip-service until the next time our noses get out of joint? I don’t want to be that person who won’t allow for people to change, especially if I see them really working on changing! Labels and judging are two attributes I am trying very hard to rid myself of and I don’t want to be associated with those who don’t understand that. I once heard that anyone who has a problem with you in regard to your Christianity is just not liking the Jesus they see in you. Well, the same thing can be said for those who want to hold you in their time warped opinion. It is their problem, not yours. Only those who seek, but more importantly allow themselves, will be transformed.
In quiet moments, I sense God’s nearness. In helping a friend the other day, I experienced true moments of joy in honesty. Yesterday, I sat with a dying woman, holding her hand, talking with her and her daughter. Although she wasn’t lucid most of the time, every so often her sight would clear and she’d look at me in such a way that I was sure I was seeing God’s presence. Both those times I was in the mode of being not doing and I was blessed. There is an unmitigated joy that transcends all understanding when you are in His Presence and once experienced, you never want to travel far from it. I am fortunate to have watched miracles take place because of love and the only way to get a ringside seat is to allow yourself to face the tombs of darkness in your life and be transformed by them.
Get a copy of The Lazarus Life – spiritual transformation for ordinary people by Stephen W. Smith. He makes ordinary, seem extraordinary!
Looking up!
Barb

Making the most of Transformation

Happy New Year!

Today we are a clean slate, a fresh page on which to doodle. As with the onset of each New Year, many of us make promises, called resolutions, to ourselves about the way we’d like to "live" this year. In essence, yesterday was our performance review and today we at least attempt in our pursuit to "do" or live better lives.  This sometimes calls for a transformation to take place.

What is a transformation? Transformation is a change, actually according to the Thesaurus; it is a major change! When I look at my life in review, I am able to understand the nuance of the emphasis in the degree of change! If we keep approaching life from the same standpoint we've been stuck in, why are we surprised when the outcome stays the same?! See why major isn’t such a minor detail?! Ha!

I have friends who, like I, are in the process of making some major changes in their lives and taking those steps are not necessarily easy. There is the factor of fear of the unknown that lies just around the corner and like a game of chess, the wrong move could land you in checkmate. Sometimes the moves we make we think are the ones "God" wants us to make, when in reality, had we not listened to the unmitigating fear that lies just beneath the surface, we might have seen otherwise. We think, we pray, we research and we hope we are making the right moves, but and that niggling word but, should always throw the red flag for us, not every opportunity presented is the right opportunity for us. But, we say, we thought it was God directed…here is what I’m learning, this is the transformation lesson.

God is not concerned with our comfort, meaning our freedom from financial worries. The more credence we place in our self-sufficiency, the more likely we are headed in the wrong direction. Sigh. If we are trusting in OUR own power to provide, then we can’t be trusting in HIS power to provide for us.
Transformation (according to my new favorite author – Stephen W. Smith) does not come from earning love. It comes from being loved. Once again I am astounded at the simplicity of the verb tense and it is the exact reason so many of us miss it…we aren’t supposed to be "doing" we are supposed to "be." When we find ourselves in the "doing" stage, we are acting in a self-reliant manner. We can’t "earn" our way into heaven, we don’t get there by performance because nothing will ever be enough and yet we persist in trying, when all we really need to do is believe. Hmmm, and the first two letters in believe are "be"!

In the notes in the "be"ginning of chapter 2 in his book "The Lazarus Life", Smith writes that sometimes Jesus doesn’t show up when we need Him most, and Smith profoundly points out that while you and I see today, God sees eternity. So while we are muddling things up, God is trying to untangle the myriad of problems we have created en masse. Waiting on Him is part of the process and we will sometimes have to work through the disillusionments in our lives while we wait.

How do we hear God, a friend recently asked me. I don’t know that I have the answer for that one, but I might say that God will not entice you to do something that will lead you on a path of not depending on Him. He will not move you to self sufficiency, said another way. God wants us relational to Him first.
My husband and I use to watch Suze Orman on Saturday nights. At the end of her show, she’d stress the importance of people first, then money, then things. I have no idea about her faith, but I’d add that God would want to be number one, then people, then the rest of it.

This past year as been financially difficult in our household. Business has been almost non-existent, we had one wedding and this year we have another. I’ve taken on a "contract" job that enables us to meet our financial needs (not wants), but through this process a major transformation is taking place. This blog was created a year ago out of my desire to share the insights I feel I am being blessed with. Has it been easy, no. Have we survived, yes. Would I desire to be better off financially, heck yes! But the best gift I’ve been given through this is the gift of God Himself, who has met me sometimes in the depths of despair and raised me to heights I’ve never seen before.

God has allowed my heart to be broken (and at my request, mind you) to the ongoings of life around me, but He didn’t leave me there, He put me in His game plan and allowed me to participate with Him working through me. And while those whom I’ve helped may or may not be aware, they have in turned been the biggest blessings in my life. And yet another quote, "It is good to be strong and able to bless others, but it is also necessary to learn the value of being vulnerable enough to let others be strong for you and let others bless you. In doing so, it is also a blessing to them." – Heaven is for Real

Faith is living life in process, which means you are not quite all that God has in store for you, but you are on your way. Because we are human we will always have doubts about our current status, but as a Christian, (having a relationship with Christ) means that I’m willing to wait on His timetable for answers to the questions I may not even know to ask yet.

I will end with this. If you are like me (sorry!)….sometimes we have difficulty asking for the things we need the most. What I am finding out is that people need to know that they are not alone in what it is they are going through. God wants us to be relational and being relational means we interact with Him and others. Anything, and I do mean anything, that stands in your way of "being" and by the way you can’t "do" relational, is not the way of God. Spend time with God, spend time with others. Because of the economy, many of us were forced to tone down our holidays. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I will once again state, that the best present I can ever receive is one of presence.  Last year proved bountiful!

Looking up!
Barb
　

Because He Came

Because He came was the message of last night’s Christmas eve service. So often people ask, (our pastor) but also themselves, how do you know if God loves you. In the midst of hardships of a multitude of varieties, God still showed up in the body of a human (His Son, Jesus). He didn’t have to, He could have blinked His eyes or pointed His finger and changed whatever it was He wasn’t happy with, but instead, He wrapped Himself up in human flesh and was born through human labor. He chose then as He chooses now, to be ever present in world. Some know Him for the truth He is. Others dislike Him for the truth He portrays. Interestingly, as our minister pointed out last night, those who have a difficult time accepting you as a Christian, don’t necessarily dislike you……they just don’t like the Jesus in you…..they can’t handle it because they are afraid of it. Being a Christian isn’t about being a goody two shoes, it is about loving without judging and desiring to do what is the right thing! Irregardless, He came to prove His point and His point is that He loves each and every one of us!

So why is that important? Because in our humanness, the way we show our love to one another is to "be there" for one another. It isn’t the presents we give on special occasions, it is our daily presence that tells your family and friends how much you care about them. What do we do, when someone we love is hurting? We show up, we come to their side and if nothing can be said, the simple act of showing up means more to that person going through the trial than words can express. You cared enough to show up! I’ll take presence over presents any day of the week!

So, He came and for the moments I string together in thinking of this Christmas message, I am humbled that the God of the universe thinks so highly of me that He would endure even an ounce of suffering for me!

Allow yourself to feel His Presence, Peace and Joy. It is possible!

Merry Christmas!

Looking up!
Barb

Round to its

     Ok, it's time.  I've put it off as long as I could, but the lesson learned was that in putting it off it only delayed the inevitable.  This morning I woke up and my initial thought (and it was an odd one!) was that I needed to cash in my "round to its".  Meaning those things that I keep saying I'll do, when I get around to it.  I mean what's the point of hanging onto something for someday?  That's like saving bell-bottom pants from the 70s and resurrecting them in the 10s - chances are even if they come back in style, they aren't gonna fit!
     So what are some of the "round to its" on your list?  Do you keep making promises of some sort or the other to be something, do something and just find that when time gets crunched, those things get put on the back burner?  For the last two months, my availability has changed, because of my job.  Working 8-10 hour days on my feet (and it isn't a complaint) leaves me with little desire to do things I don't have to do, especially if they are things that go unappreciated.  It really is true that you make time for what is important to you.  I've been on both sides of the aisle on this one.  I've made the time, when I had plenty of it and I've tried to make the time when my time was limited.  Each of us has to navigate the waters we swim in and if we see someone sinking we are going to reach out to the one reaching back, not the one who is already dead in the water.
     This sounds like a pessimistic approach to life, but truly it isn't meant to be.  God is constantly shaping the trees of our lives, pruning branches as He sees fit.  It is in the pruning we grow.  We on the other hand cling to what we know and by clinging to something that doesn't have life in it, we are in essence trying to resuscitate that which God has already pruned.  It just ain't gonna happen and in coming to that realization you can then move forward and concentrate on the blessings that are working.  Sure there will be moments of flashbacks on what might have been, but God's plan is perfect for each of us and we just need to stop stamping our foot in impatience about our own plan, when He has other plans for us!
     We are getting ready to enter a new year and I'm not big on resolutions, they hold for the first two weeks and like a diet, the first time you cheat, you blow it from then on - especially if you are like me and you have to start things on the first day of the year, or month or week.  Not treading on too many toes am I?  Smile!  Truly though, my wish is to be able to be the person God wants me to be, free to enjoy His blessings without the responsibility of trying to be something or someone to others who hold me at their convenience.  Part of this thought came after sending out some Christmas cards and trying to condense a year of life into a few pictures and words.  Really?  We send our greetings, brag about our positives, hide our negatives and breathe a sigh of relief that we're covered for another year.  Really?!  If these people really mattered, wouldn't we pick up the phone, send a note (remember snail mail?) or email, text, face book, etc?
     And no, no one "dumped" in my cheerios this morning (as one reader comically suggested previously) :)  My wish is for all to live a life of simple integrity.  We are all wonderfully made and in allowing ourselves to dwell there with God at our centers, our courses will be charted in directions we may not be able to fathom.  Clean out the cobwebs, allow the fresh air of change to blow through. Get rid of the "round to its!" 


   "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference."  


Looking up!


Barb

Faith is the assurance of things hoped for; the conviction of things we cannot see

Faith is the assurance of things hoped for; the conviction of things we cannot see – Hebrews 11:1

So what do you hope for?

I’ve been close to a few meltdowns this past week.  “Things” aren’t going the way I would like them to and I’m trying not to sound as if I’m a spoiled brat; I am fully aware that others too are facing situations not to their liking!  So, when I came across this passage in my devotional, I will admit it gave me pause.

What do I hope for?  And to be honest, I don’t know!  When I stopped and thought about it, everything seemed so trivial in comparison to the on goings in others lives.
In my younger years, my answer may have appeared as a Christmas wish list, but now that I’m older, I’m not so cavalier in my wants.  I know that I am blessed with a God who has provided me with many blessings including health, family, and friends.  If my “faith” was of a more substantial status, I’d realize that having God is more than enough, but and there should be no buts, I’m flummoxed by the trappings of this earthly life that have me unfortunately overly conscious with my bank account (or lack thereof!)

I’m not looking for a quick fix or easy remedies; I’m truly conscious of the need to be dependant on God for everything as well as the need to be patient in waiting for His timing!  And I may sound like Wendy Whiner, but waiting is hard…..Anyone?

I said to my husband last evening, that sometimes we don’t “have” because we don’t “ask.”  And a lot of times, we don’t ask, because we are so darn self-sufficient we don’t’ think we have to – which just points to issues with pride running amuck!  Or, if we ask, we are impatient and take matters into our own hands, much the same way that Abraham and Sarah did, when Sarah couldn’t conceive and she then had her “servant” sub in for her.  God had a plan and he spoke of the plan to Abraham and God told him that he and Sarah would be parents….but when it didn’t happen when they thought it should…..well, God’s plan was for it to happen when it would seem inconceivable (no pun intended) at Sarah’s ripe old age of 99.  Jeez can you imagine?!

Getting back to my “things” hoped for – sure I could say, peace on earth…yada, yada, yada but I think God wants me to be more specific in my requests.  I could ask for financial blessings, but in that request, it takes my dependency on God out of the picture…..it is after all, where I use to be!  I have a “job,” maybe not the one I think I should have but apparently the one God thinks I should have… for this season anyway.

Which leads me to the only “thing” I can think of to put into this equation.  I wish for wisdom (like Solomon) and have to admit that in thinking this way I will be able to appreciate the many other facets of life that enable me to feel fulfilled.

When you have seemingly had it all and parts of your “core” start being eroded and you have to release key pieces, (be they people, or jobs or things), you quickly come to the realization that it is the relationships you want to hold onto most of all.  Jobs/things can be replaced.  People, not so easily!

Are any of us ready for when the “what ifs” of life happen?  What if – business fails, what if a loved one dies, what if my marriage doesn’t work out, what if I get sick, what if, what if, what if….  All of these things eventually happen to us in some fashion, maybe not all of them, but some of them.  Without faith and that assurance that God is out there, ready, willing and able to help us, I personally don’t know how I’d handle it.  I’m convicted without a shadow of a doubt that I will be met in every dark moment in life as long as I “ask” for His help.  I am certain that He will answer me, maybe not in the manner I think, but in one way or another!  I won’t be left hanging out to dry.

It has taken me a long time to get to this place.  It would have been easier and a lot more comfortable to have been able to have stayed cocooned, but God has this wonderful habit of taking caterpillars and making us into beautiful butterflies.  It is in trials/hardships that our wings develop strength as we work our way through the cocoon.

Maybe the things hoped for, should be the wisdom to already appreciate the things He has already provided!

Looking up!

Barb

Because of Love

This is not my story, but so apropos that I couldn't NOT share it.....Enjoy!

A brother and sister had made their usual hurried, obligatory pre- Christmas visit to the little farm where dwelt their elderly parents with their small herd of horses. The farm was where they had grown up and had been named Lone Pine Farm because of the huge pine, which topped the hill behind the farm. Through the years the tree had become a talisman to the old man and his wife, and a landmark in the countryside. The young siblings had fond memories of their childhood here, but the city hustle and bustle added more excitement to their lives, and called them away to a different life.

The old folks no longer showed their horses, for the years had taken their toll, and getting out to the barn on those frosty mornings was getting harder, but it gave them a reason to get up in the mornings and a reason to live. They sold a few foals each year, and the horses were their reason for joy in the morning and contentment at day's end.

Angry, as they prepared to leave, the young couple confronted the old folks "Why do you not at least dispose of The Old One." She is no longer of use to you. It's been years since you've had foals from her. You should cut corners and save so you can have more for yourselves. How can this old worn out horse bring you anything but expense and work? Why do you keep her anyway?"

The old man looked down at his worn boots, holes in the toes, scuffed at the barn floor and replied, " Yes, I could use a pair of new boots.   His arm slid defensively about the Old One's neck as he drew her near with gentle caressing he rubbed her softly behind her ears. He replied softly, "We keep her because of love. Nothing else, just love."

Baffled and irritated, the young folks wished the old man and his wife a Merry Christmas and headed back toward the city as darkness stole through the valley.  The old couple shook their heads in sorrow that it had not been a happy visit. A tear fell upon their cheeks. How is it that these young folks do not understand the peace of the love that filled their hearts?  

So it was, that because of the unhappy leave-taking, no one noticed the insulation smoldering on the frayed wires in the old barn. None saw the first spark fall. None but the "Old One".   In a matter of minutes, the whole barn was ablaze and the hungry flames were licking at the loft full of hay. With a cry of horror and despair, the old man shouted to his wife to call for help as he raced to the barn to save their beloved horses. But the flames were roaring now, and the blazing heat drove him back. He sank sobbing to the ground, helpless before the fire's fury. His wife back from calling for help cradled him in her arms, clinging to each other, they wept at their loss.

By the time the fire department arrived, only smoking, glowing ruins were left, and the old man and his wife, exhausted from their grief, huddled together before the barn. They were speechless as they rose from the cold snow covered ground. They nodded thanks to the firemen as there was nothing anyone could do now. The old man turned to his wife, resting her white head upon his shoulders as his shaking old hands clumsily dried her tears with a frayed red bandana. Brokenly he whispered, "We have lost much, but God has spared our home on this eve of Christmas. Let us gather strength and climb the hill to the old pine where we have sought comfort in times of despair. We will look down upon our home and give thanks to God that it has been spared and pray for our beloved most precious gifts that have been taken from us.

And so, he took her by the hand and slowly helped her up the snowy hill as he brushed aside his own tears with the back of his old and withered hand.   The journey up the hill was hard for their old bodies in the steep snow. As they stepped over the little knoll at the crest of the hill, they paused to rest, looking up to the top of the hill the old couple gasped and fell to their knees in amazement at the incredible beauty before them.

Seemingly, every glorious, brilliant star in the heavens was caught up in the glittering, snow-frosted branches of their beloved pine, and it was aglow with heavenly candles. And poised on its top most bough, a crystal crescent moon glistened like spun glass. Never had a mere mortal created a Christmas tree such as this. They were breathless as the old man held his wife tighter in his arms.

Suddenly, the old man gave a cry of wonder and incredible joy. Amazed and mystified, he took his wife by the hand and pulled her forward. There, beneath the tree, in resplendent glory, a mist hovering over and glowing in the darkness was their Christmas gift. Shadows glistening in the night light.

Bedded down about the "Old One" close to the trunk of the tree, was the entire herd, safe.   At the first hint of smoke, she had pushed the door ajar with her muzzle and had led the horses through it. Slowly and with great dignity, never looking back, she had led them up the hill, stepping cautiously through the snow. The foals were frightened and dashed about. The skittish yearlings looked back at the crackling, hungry flames, and tucked their tails under them as they licked their lips and hopped like rabbits. The mares that were in foal with a new year’s crop of babies, pressed uneasily against the "Old One" as she moved calmly up the hill and to safety beneath the pine. And now she lay among them and gazed at the faces of the old man and his wife.

Those she loved she had not disappointed. Her body was brittle with years, tired from the climb, but the golden eyes were filled with devotion as she offered her gift---

Because of love. Only Because of love.

Tears flowed as the old couple shouted their praise and joy... And again the peace of love filled their hearts.

This is a true story.

Willy Eagle

While I do not know who the author is (Willy Eagle?), I can testify to being the recipient of such love.  I hope this story warmed your heart, as it did mine!

Looking up!

Barb

All I want for Christmas

Ah, the season of giving is upon us and as we each start our foray into the malls, searching for the perfect gift for our special someones, I’d like to share a thought I recently had in regard to gift-giving.  Each year I too join the crowds spending money as if it grew on a tree, but this year, through a combination of the economy and having read books entitled “Unstuff” and “Soul Custody” I find that I can no longer spend as frivolously as I once did, but more importantly, nor do I want to.

No, I’m not getting cheap, I hope that I’m getting wise.  Interestingly, the people I wish to give gifts to, don’t require them and those that do, are people I’m probably not as close to, but I have given gifts to for so long, we’ve made it a habit.  Now, after saying that, that does not mean if you do receive a gift from me that you fall into the latter category.  No, this year, the habitual giving will be stopped; the economy is making sure of that for me.

Saturday, I walked into a store to buy a card and roamed the aisles watching the faces, more than looking at the merchandise.  The kids’ faces were all aglow, pointing and smiling at the “things” of their dreams.  The parents or grown-ups looked tired and resigned, ok, maybe not all of them, but enough to make me aware that I’m not alone in economical strife.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to spend time with 3 friends.  As is our norm, one friend and I got up to go to a local church and volunteer our time cooking breakfast for the homeless.  The church has a big commercial kitchen and we cook from about 6 – 7:15 a.m.  Another faction of people then come to this church and pick up the prepared food and take it into the city and serve it in shelters or on the street.  Because I enjoy cooking, I opt to do the first activity.  After we are done, my friend and I left and went to another friend’s house, where she greeted us in her PJs and cooked us the most scrumptious omelet and provided us with chocolate-filled croissants (from Costco).  As we spent the next 3 hours catching up with she and her husband, I remembered thinking I couldn’t remember a more perfect morning.  Upon leaving her house, and dropping off the first friend at her home, I then went and did a bit of shopping (as mentioned in the previous paragraph).  About an hour later, I met up with the third friend, who was in town for the day, and we had lunch together and laughed and conversed the afternoon away.  This was a very special day for me.  It means the world to me, to spend time with those who mean the most to me.  It isn’t a material gift that many of us are searching for, instead, as I’ve tried to represent, it is the gift of ourselves that means the most.  You know T – I – M – E…well spent and it can be laughing or crying, or having a heart-to-heart chat.  What is special is that someone “hears” what we are saying, that someone is willing to “listen” to us.  That is not something that can be purchased, wrapped up, it is truly the gift of your heart.

So, how do you do this?  How do you wrap this gift up?  Well, again, through my avid desire to read – it is amazingly simple.  Currently I’m reading a book, assigned through hospice – “If there is anything I can do” – which I am finding out are the most feeble words anyone can offer (and I’ve said them).  We are all busy, but things still need to be “done” so, for an example, if someone you know is caring for their mom, and is feeling stressed and you wash your car, offer to wash theirs or get their oil changed (2 examples).  Cook a meal, take it over.  Don’t call – instead show up. And this was actually stated by the person writing the book, who was caring for a patient with pancreatic cancer!  If it isn’t a good time, allow them to tell you and don’t take it personally.  Isn’t this the stuff that neighbors use to do?  I remember as a teenager, sitting on the front steps of neighbors sharing coffee and playing our guitars (this with a woman I babysat for) or with another Mom, just a few years older than I, we’d talk about who knows what.
Getting back to the call, if they have to make a decision, they will air on the side of it being what is “good” for you, not what is in their best interest.  Showing up might seem like it takes away their freedom to say no, but it also allows them to enjoy a visit without making someone feel obligated to come.

This Christmas, we will be doing things differently, mostly because the income has dwindled and we have a big wedding coming up.  I don’t feel badly, instead, I’m kind of excited, because this year, creativity will have to be behind the good times we will be sharing with others.  Gifts are things, and unfortunately if anyone asked me what I “got” last year, I’d be hard-pressed to remember, but, if someone asked what was special about last year, I could go on adnauseum!

This is the stuff of my Christmas wish.  Wishing you all blessings and peace.  May you feel the joy despite the circumstances you may be facing!

Looking up!

Barb