All I want for Christmas

Ah, the season of giving is upon us and as we each start our foray into the malls, searching for the perfect gift for our special someones, I’d like to share a thought I recently had in regard to gift-giving.  Each year I too join the crowds spending money as if it grew on a tree, but this year, through a combination of the economy and having read books entitled “Unstuff” and “Soul Custody” I find that I can no longer spend as frivolously as I once did, but more importantly, nor do I want to.

No, I’m not getting cheap, I hope that I’m getting wise.  Interestingly, the people I wish to give gifts to, don’t require them and those that do, are people I’m probably not as close to, but I have given gifts to for so long, we’ve made it a habit.  Now, after saying that, that does not mean if you do receive a gift from me that you fall into the latter category.  No, this year, the habitual giving will be stopped; the economy is making sure of that for me.

Saturday, I walked into a store to buy a card and roamed the aisles watching the faces, more than looking at the merchandise.  The kids’ faces were all aglow, pointing and smiling at the “things” of their dreams.  The parents or grown-ups looked tired and resigned, ok, maybe not all of them, but enough to make me aware that I’m not alone in economical strife.

Yesterday I had the opportunity to spend time with 3 friends.  As is our norm, one friend and I got up to go to a local church and volunteer our time cooking breakfast for the homeless.  The church has a big commercial kitchen and we cook from about 6 – 7:15 a.m.  Another faction of people then come to this church and pick up the prepared food and take it into the city and serve it in shelters or on the street.  Because I enjoy cooking, I opt to do the first activity.  After we are done, my friend and I left and went to another friend’s house, where she greeted us in her PJs and cooked us the most scrumptious omelet and provided us with chocolate-filled croissants (from Costco).  As we spent the next 3 hours catching up with she and her husband, I remembered thinking I couldn’t remember a more perfect morning.  Upon leaving her house, and dropping off the first friend at her home, I then went and did a bit of shopping (as mentioned in the previous paragraph).  About an hour later, I met up with the third friend, who was in town for the day, and we had lunch together and laughed and conversed the afternoon away.  This was a very special day for me.  It means the world to me, to spend time with those who mean the most to me.  It isn’t a material gift that many of us are searching for, instead, as I’ve tried to represent, it is the gift of ourselves that means the most.  You know T – I – M – E…well spent and it can be laughing or crying, or having a heart-to-heart chat.  What is special is that someone “hears” what we are saying, that someone is willing to “listen” to us.  That is not something that can be purchased, wrapped up, it is truly the gift of your heart.

So, how do you do this?  How do you wrap this gift up?  Well, again, through my avid desire to read – it is amazingly simple.  Currently I’m reading a book, assigned through hospice – “If there is anything I can do” – which I am finding out are the most feeble words anyone can offer (and I’ve said them).  We are all busy, but things still need to be “done” so, for an example, if someone you know is caring for their mom, and is feeling stressed and you wash your car, offer to wash theirs or get their oil changed (2 examples).  Cook a meal, take it over.  Don’t call – instead show up. And this was actually stated by the person writing the book, who was caring for a patient with pancreatic cancer!  If it isn’t a good time, allow them to tell you and don’t take it personally.  Isn’t this the stuff that neighbors use to do?  I remember as a teenager, sitting on the front steps of neighbors sharing coffee and playing our guitars (this with a woman I babysat for) or with another Mom, just a few years older than I, we’d talk about who knows what.
Getting back to the call, if they have to make a decision, they will air on the side of it being what is “good” for you, not what is in their best interest.  Showing up might seem like it takes away their freedom to say no, but it also allows them to enjoy a visit without making someone feel obligated to come.

This Christmas, we will be doing things differently, mostly because the income has dwindled and we have a big wedding coming up.  I don’t feel badly, instead, I’m kind of excited, because this year, creativity will have to be behind the good times we will be sharing with others.  Gifts are things, and unfortunately if anyone asked me what I “got” last year, I’d be hard-pressed to remember, but, if someone asked what was special about last year, I could go on adnauseum!

This is the stuff of my Christmas wish.  Wishing you all blessings and peace.  May you feel the joy despite the circumstances you may be facing!

Looking up!

Barb