"Because of our relentless pursuit to get it all right, we’ve gotten it all wrong." Stephen W. Smith The Jesus Life (8 ways to recover authentic Christianity).
I read those words and wanted to cry. It is 9:30 on Sunday morning and I feel very much alone. My husband of 30 years is still in bed, traumatized by the effects his pain management meds are having on him. He just finished his radiation treatments and will begin his chemo on Thursday for lung cancer.
For 30 years, my husband and I have lived a very personally satisfying life. We are proud parents of two beautiful well adjusted kids, one married, one about to be, we were comfortable financially (emphasis were), we live in a nice home, and we own our own business, which the economy has taken on a wild ride into hell and only just now are we starting to see a glimmer of light. These are the things I believe Steve refers to in his sentence. We were relentless in our pursuit of our business deals and lawn maintenance. Does it mean it was all for naught? No, but as we now are sitting waiting for the next part of our journey, nothing we’ve accomplished to date, seems to really matter as it once did.
The dreams of money and retirement and seeing the world quickly diminish in a diagnosis. That is not to say one doesn’t dream or have hope, but for me, it does bring the thoughts of tomorrow back to appreciating the reality of today. Unfortunately too many of us live lives that are relentless. What does relentless look like? Busy schedules, overloaded agendas, with too many have tos and shoulds decorating our to do lists. Overstimulated kids racing from one activity to another driven by frantic parents racing in from work and to the nearest fast food place to give our kids happy meals for dinner. Gone are leisurely walks, children playing outside, neighbors chatting on front porches, picnics, and family time without a second hand recording the time spent, just to name a few.
Interestingly Steve also hits an area in the bible where Jesus tells us we have also gotten it all wrong. In Matthew 11 versus 28-30, Jesus states the following: "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me- watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythm of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly."
We are "trying" to do it right, by amassing more and more knowledge. Well knowledge was something the Pharisees of Jesus’ day had a lot of. They just never applied any of it to themselves. They sure set the rules, for which everyone else had to live by, but the rules never applied to them, they were above it all.
And that my friends is where I think many of us have found ourselves. Myself included until about six years ago, when diagnoses first started knocking on my love ones doors. The lesson I learned and am trying to pass on rather unsuccessfully is that today is the only day that matters and the reason it matters has nothing to do with how much we fill it up or even what we fill it up with.
I will put it as simply and honestly as I can. When it all boils down to nothing, who and what will be propping you up? Is your job going to hold your hand while you lie in bed? Do you have any true friends who might be there for you in your time of need? Have you established a relationship with God, the creator?
Personally, my job looks nothing like what I would like my job to look like. Interestingly that position is the one I find myself in with my husband right now, and it is not one in which I can draw a salary. Instead though, I have found that in performing the duties of the position they parallel what Jesus would have me do.
In regard to friends. Who are they? Are they true or fair-weather ones, disappearing when the need gets to be too much, or too long? Are they relationships or part of a facebook count and by that I am only asking about validity? The problem is because of our busyness, we often find ourselves having to "do" what is on our agenda, before coming to the aid of someone else. Is that wrong? I would say it depends on whether or not you are the person in need? Once you’ve been the person in need you might answer the question differently.
In talking with a friend last week, she brought out an interesting point. It was about how we tout ourselves about being Christians and yet seemingly lack compassion, which is the embodiment of Jesus. In simple terms you can’t be a Christian and not be compassionate. It is impossible, it is an oxymoron. Yet how many of us spew the doctrine that rarely is exhibited in us? Amassing more knowledge does nothing if it is never applied.
So getting back to the opening sentence. I believe our pursuits are what have been misalignned and the reason is the focus. As long as our focus remains on ourselves, we will continue to get it wrong. When we allow our focus to shift upward we will then be given the capacity to understand what is necessary inward that can then be expressed outward. I believe as Derwin Gray of Transformation Church states – Look upward and love God completely, so that we can then love ourselves correctly and then serve others compassionately. In doing so, we will find ourselves on the pathway to getting it right.
Looking up!
Barb
I read those words and wanted to cry. It is 9:30 on Sunday morning and I feel very much alone. My husband of 30 years is still in bed, traumatized by the effects his pain management meds are having on him. He just finished his radiation treatments and will begin his chemo on Thursday for lung cancer.
For 30 years, my husband and I have lived a very personally satisfying life. We are proud parents of two beautiful well adjusted kids, one married, one about to be, we were comfortable financially (emphasis were), we live in a nice home, and we own our own business, which the economy has taken on a wild ride into hell and only just now are we starting to see a glimmer of light. These are the things I believe Steve refers to in his sentence. We were relentless in our pursuit of our business deals and lawn maintenance. Does it mean it was all for naught? No, but as we now are sitting waiting for the next part of our journey, nothing we’ve accomplished to date, seems to really matter as it once did.
The dreams of money and retirement and seeing the world quickly diminish in a diagnosis. That is not to say one doesn’t dream or have hope, but for me, it does bring the thoughts of tomorrow back to appreciating the reality of today. Unfortunately too many of us live lives that are relentless. What does relentless look like? Busy schedules, overloaded agendas, with too many have tos and shoulds decorating our to do lists. Overstimulated kids racing from one activity to another driven by frantic parents racing in from work and to the nearest fast food place to give our kids happy meals for dinner. Gone are leisurely walks, children playing outside, neighbors chatting on front porches, picnics, and family time without a second hand recording the time spent, just to name a few.
Interestingly Steve also hits an area in the bible where Jesus tells us we have also gotten it all wrong. In Matthew 11 versus 28-30, Jesus states the following: "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me- watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythm of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly."
We are "trying" to do it right, by amassing more and more knowledge. Well knowledge was something the Pharisees of Jesus’ day had a lot of. They just never applied any of it to themselves. They sure set the rules, for which everyone else had to live by, but the rules never applied to them, they were above it all.
And that my friends is where I think many of us have found ourselves. Myself included until about six years ago, when diagnoses first started knocking on my love ones doors. The lesson I learned and am trying to pass on rather unsuccessfully is that today is the only day that matters and the reason it matters has nothing to do with how much we fill it up or even what we fill it up with.
I will put it as simply and honestly as I can. When it all boils down to nothing, who and what will be propping you up? Is your job going to hold your hand while you lie in bed? Do you have any true friends who might be there for you in your time of need? Have you established a relationship with God, the creator?
Personally, my job looks nothing like what I would like my job to look like. Interestingly that position is the one I find myself in with my husband right now, and it is not one in which I can draw a salary. Instead though, I have found that in performing the duties of the position they parallel what Jesus would have me do.
In regard to friends. Who are they? Are they true or fair-weather ones, disappearing when the need gets to be too much, or too long? Are they relationships or part of a facebook count and by that I am only asking about validity? The problem is because of our busyness, we often find ourselves having to "do" what is on our agenda, before coming to the aid of someone else. Is that wrong? I would say it depends on whether or not you are the person in need? Once you’ve been the person in need you might answer the question differently.
In talking with a friend last week, she brought out an interesting point. It was about how we tout ourselves about being Christians and yet seemingly lack compassion, which is the embodiment of Jesus. In simple terms you can’t be a Christian and not be compassionate. It is impossible, it is an oxymoron. Yet how many of us spew the doctrine that rarely is exhibited in us? Amassing more knowledge does nothing if it is never applied.
So getting back to the opening sentence. I believe our pursuits are what have been misalignned and the reason is the focus. As long as our focus remains on ourselves, we will continue to get it wrong. When we allow our focus to shift upward we will then be given the capacity to understand what is necessary inward that can then be expressed outward. I believe as Derwin Gray of Transformation Church states – Look upward and love God completely, so that we can then love ourselves correctly and then serve others compassionately. In doing so, we will find ourselves on the pathway to getting it right.
Looking up!
Barb
You really hit the nail on the head, Barb. Live each day to the fullest 'cause that's all we truly have and keep God in the palm of your hand. I love reading your "thoughts" and hope that it is therapeutic for you! I also hope that people will actually grasp what it is you are trying to say! God bless you, my friend and sister in Christ.
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