The Load

The following is not an original; it is being written from my memory and taken from “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World.”  This is so apropos to our lives today that especially after my last two entries I am hoping to be able to shed some light on our workloads.

“A man is asked by God to take three rocks up to the top of a mountain.  The man happily obliges and loads the rocks into his wheelbarrow and goes on his way whistling.  At some point he encounters another man who inquires where he is going.  He states that he is off to the top of the mountain to take these rocks there.  The other man asks if he can add his rock to the pile stating that he is rather busy and this would save him the trip.  The man says yes, happy to be able to help someone else.  Once again he goes on his way.  A short distance later he meets yet another man who also asks where he is going.  This man then asks if he can add his rocks to the pile saying that they are only small and will fit in the spaces left between the larger rocks.  The man says yes since they are small and once loaded he goes on his way, however he is noticing that the load has gotten a bit heavier.  Nearing the top of the mountain, he stops to talk with his friend.  The friend noticing the wheelbarrow full of rocks inquires if there is room for a small bag of stones he has and since the distance is short, he wouldn’t have to carry them for a great deal of time.  The man is agreeable not wanting to upset his friend.  He picks up the handles of the wheelbarrow and sets out again, although no longer whistling.  As the grade of the hill becomes steeper, the strain becomes too much and he starts complaining.  He finally stops when he no longer can take another step and calls out to God “Why did you make my load so heavy, I can’t do this!”  God appears and he looks at the man and then at his wheelbarrow saying “What’s all this?”  The man says I was happy to carry your load and then happy to help someone who didn’t have time, and then the next guy’s rocks were only small and then I helped a friend.  God asks the man “Was your initial load too heavy?”  The man replies no, and then God says to him, “I didn’t ask you to take on anyone else’s rocks, you only had to carry your own.”  Surprised the man says, “You mean I don’t have to carry all of this?”  God says “no, you only have to carry what I asked you to carry.”  With that the man dumps out his wheelbarrow and just reloads the three rocks God initially asked him to carry.  The load lightened, he sets out once again on his way to the mountaintop, whistling.”

This is the thought that came to my mind when I read Psalm 40:8  I desire to do Your will, O my God.

I love to help people and am available to friends and family in their times of need, but I realize that there is a limit to what it is I am capable of doing. One of my favorite songs growing up was "He ain't heavy, he's my brother" and I yearned to live my life out in that manner.   When my sister-in-law/BFF was sick, there were other things going on at that same time – my husband had a bleeding ulcer, my Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, my nephew had total kidney failure, another nephew was recovering from a concussion and yet another nephew re-tore his ACL, the one that had already been replaced by a cadaver’s.  My mind was dizzy with trying to take all this in and I had to go to God and ask Him what His will was for me.  I was only one person.  The thing was, only two instances were located in my vicinity.  My Mom and my nephews were all up in the Philadelphia area so I had to leave them in God’s very capable hands.  And with that, God then provided me the means of being able to care for both my husband – who was in the hospital and Nancy who was at home.  This wasn’t about my strengths, it was about God’s.  My days flew by as I got up ran to the hospital by 8 to see Bruce, then moving on to Nancy from 9-10; then leaving to open our business (we are its only employees) from 10:30 -3 (I opened late and closed early) before reversing my run to see Nancy and then Bruce.  I was usually home by 8 pm and then trying to figure out what to eat.  I was never tired; it was like I was the energizer bunny.  Throughout that time period though, I kept my focus on God and I placed both Bruce and Nancy in His care and then asked Him, to help me.  The “load” was never too heavy, but had I had the mindset of trying to take all of this on,  the sheer magnitude would have crushed me.  I learned a valuable lesson in trust!

The outcome – Bruce is fine, my nephew with the kidney failure had a kidney transplant a year later and is doing well, my other nephews are both recovered, my Mom’s dementia is progressing and Nancy passed away.  The lesson I learned is that His will is not always going to have the outcome I desire, but I have learned to trust Him with ALL that I have!  I have experienced the wheelbarrow and know that I cannot do it alone!  Sometimes it is difficult to say no to someone, but in volunteering to take on a challenge that doesn’t belong to you, makes you angry and it actually makes the other person weaker as they find ways to circumvent carrying their own load, oh, did I forget to mention how easy it is to be an enabler?

We all have rocks that we are being asked to transport; it is only through listening that you can hear the course God is asking you to take.  His answer to your question is “if it brings peace to your heart and clarity of thought in your mind” then it is a directive from Him, without those two situations being present…..someone else is asking you to carry their load!

Looking up! ~ Barb