I need to trust God......with me

Thirty days ago, I held my husband for the last time as he struggled to take his last earthly breath. For six months he bravely fought a battle against lung cancer, taking each day one day at a time, living each day to its fullest while toxic with both chemo and radiation therapies. Somewhere in that time, my kids and I had to come to the realization that to hold onto him was more a punishment for him, than a blessing for us. No one, including Bruce, wanted to let go. We were married 30 years, the next day being the culmination of those 30 years and what would have been the start of 31. Bruce never started something he couldn’t finish and it was with great tears that the kids and I told him that it was ok for him to go on ahead of us. We are a family of believers, we may not always show our best foot forward because we are human and flawed, but we believe that in our weakness God is shown strong. Saying that and believing that has also caused me some consternation.
In 1989 my 20-year old nephew died from leukemia. His mom, one of my best friends and my sister-in-law (Bruce’s sister) died in 2006 from pancreatic cancer. In both instances I learned a valuable lesson that I had to, in turn apply to my dealings with Bruce. The lesson was that I am not in control. That no amount of money will stop death from stealing loved ones from us. Yet that is not the attitude of a person who is supposed to be a person of faith is it? No, a person of faith should rejoice when God welcomes a person home and I do believe that. My struggle is that it is the collision of two worlds, ours and His! It doesn’t mean we don’t have questions, because God is big enough and loves us enough to allow us to question and even be angry with Him. Ultimately though, if we trust Him enough, we will receive His peace.
So, what’s my problem? As I discussed this morning with a very special friend, I am able to trust God with everyone else, but it seems when it comes to trusting Him with me, I seem unable to relinquish my need to control things my way. I just don’t seem to be able to understand what keeps me distant from the God I say I love and need. I truly placed Bruce in God’s hands at the very beginning of his illness. I prayed that God’s will for our lives be done and as I watched Bruce’s sap draining from his being, I prayed that God not allow him to continue to suffer, it was very painful to watch. When you love someone, their pain takes precedence over your own and you become willing to suffer so that they don’t have to. This is the lesson that I learned in 1989 when Nancy and Fred let go of Rick, and then learned again when we all had to release Nancy from her chains. My children, as much as I love them, are gifts bestowed on me from God, sure I will fight to the finish for them, but ultimately they are His, as was Bruce. So, who am I to think I’m not worthy of placing my own life into the sure hands of God?
"The Bible tells the story of the man who came to Jesus in Mark chapter nine, who`s boy had been robbed of speech, by an evil spirit. The evil spirit would throw him to the ground, and cause him to foam at the mouth and then become rigid.
The man took his boy to the disciples, but in the man`s words " They could not drive out the spirit ". Jesus replied " O unbelieving generation, how long shall I stay with you, how long shall I put up with you, bring the boy to me." The end of that passage states how the man says he does believe but needs help with his unbelief.
"It`s really so strange, is it not, that we can have great faith for other people, but when it lands on our own doors step, our hearts cry out " Lord I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief " Or are we too afraid to ever admit that to anyone that we have ever felt like that? We can have great faith to pray for the healing of other people, but do we in turn pray for healing for ourselves, or pray for that new job, or anything else, with the same level of faith that we have for others?"
These last two paragraphs are quotes from a source I looked up to make sure I got the father’s verbiage correct and it sums up my thought in a nutshell. I do have great faith for others, but somehow I feel like I’m exempt from the faith….because I don’t feel worthy. Too often our words are spoken without the backup singers repeating them in our ears. Think about it, our mouths are positioned in front of our ears, so we speak but we neglect to listen to ourselves! Pretty profound I’m thinking! My intellect is there, I just need to make the connection with my own heart and the connection is done by linking my ears!
I praise the God who gives and takes away. I will praise Him in the storms of my life knowing that my help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth…(Casting Crowns – Praise you in the Storm).
Looking up!
Barb

It's not US vs. THEM. We are all on the same team!

I am troubled this morning, or maybe more aptly put, deeply disturbed.  The farther we get into this election process, the less I like it.  We are becoming more deeply divided on our issues forgetting that it is not an “us versus them” situation.  I use to be an athlete.  I understand competition, which basically boils down to exploiting the other team’s weaknesses and dominating in your strengths, scoring goals to try and win.  But and this is a very big but, never were you to cheat because then the win didn’t have any meaning. There were rules and referees! There were times when the teams we were on so heavily dominated the team we were playing that we would take out our starters and allow our less experienced players a chance to gain experience but at no time did we taunt or tease another player or team to just make them look badly.

The DNC is in town this week.  I don’t happen to vote for this team, but I’m not looking to try to make them look bad (as if I could).  I will admit, I’m not following the ongoings of what is happening – I have a lot of other things on my plate, but that said, I do care about what happens to our country…and I don’t like having to sift through all the untruths, or half-truths that continue to be spewed from both sides of the aisle.  I’m just an ordinary person, trying to make a living (and unfortunately that’s not being going so well for me the past 4 years).  On top of that we are also dealing with major health issues.  Are we unique?  No, all of us have “stuff” going on in our lives; it is really more about how we choose to handle it.

This morning for reasons I don’t know, the issue of abortion settled in my mind.  The only reason I bring this to light is not to be judgmental, I have my own opinion which may differ from yours, but I will say that I can agree to disagree if we must.  I am friends with a few women who have had abortions and they have spoken with me about their regret in having had one, I have not heard from any that offer the other view, but that might be because they just haven’t shared it.  From those I have heard from,  I have heard their shame and I am not, repeat NOT, making this about judging them, they did what they did, when they did for reasons they felt they had to.  But, they have shared with me that if they knew then, how they felt now...  This led to the question burning in my mind as I thought about this, this morning was….for any of us living and breathing and reading this…..what if your mother had decided for whatever reason to have aborted you.  How would you feel?  Well, I guess you wouldn’t feel, because you wouldn’t have existed.  End of story, end of my comment other than to say, think about it!  There is no comment or retort, no yeah buts.  If your mother choose to abort you, you would not be here to utter your opinion on anything!  No one can tell you what to do with your own body...but again, that isn't the real issue, because there is always some way to get done what will get done.  I understand the issue is that why should anyone have to suffer the back alley days....but again, my question is....what if your mom might have aborted you?  What would the world look like if you had not been born?  Does your life have meaning, purpose?  When did it take on its meaning/purpose?  And on the other end of the spectrum...at what point does one's life no longer have purpose that we should decide that it is ok to let them die?  Thank goodness, I'm not God, I can't make those decisions!

I’m sure that I have ruffled a few feathers, but my point is to look at an issue and bring it down to the level on which WE exist, not leave it up there bandied about by the politicians.  Are we capable of making decisions?  We supposedly elect people because they voice our truths. Really?!  Unfortunately the elections look more like childish tauntings, which I can remember as a kid growing up were hurtful.  Do you remember ever being talked about behind your back?  I was it was hurtful.  Did someone ever say something unkind about you because they felt badly about themselves and needed to feel superior?  I was it was hurtful.  Did I do it to someone else?  Yes, and I’m ashamed to have done so, because I realize (d) how hurtful it was.  All this fingerpointing and name calling does nothing to get the issues out in the open and cleared up, it only makes us more confused, which ultimately leads to apathy.  Apathy means you just give up and don’t care anymore.  Apathy is the exact desire of this election process…which team gives up first?

Equal rights for all citizens regardless of sex, race, creed.  We have evolved, and that is understood.  Our country should stand firm in its core values and we as citizens need to embrace those values.  Friends of ours just became US citizens.  That has a profound meaning to them, why doesn’t it have the same meaning for us?  I’m not against foreigners coming into our country, but take the right steps and acclimate to our ways.  If you do not wish to do so, why did you come here?  Am I dense?  What am I missing?

I heard Jesse Jackson speak yesterday on a newstalk station.  He was asked how he felt about the abortion issue.  He skirted the question going on about how these great men (most of whom I didn’t know – ok I’m ignorant), but the one I did know Martin Luther King, marched for equal rights.  Duh!  We all know that, or at least I hope so.  MLK gave his life for a cause and one worth fighting for, but unless I missed something, he didn’t do it so that our country could be run over by anyone and everyone wanting to get their own way.  He fought for OUR citizens to be able to enjoy equality.  How does that translate for those who come into our country illegally?  I heard that we are willing to take their money via taxes, well, if we all have to pay taxes, why not them?  But that isn’t the issue.  The issue is that those who come in illegally do nothing to make themselves legit.  Would you hire someone you know who is stealing from you?  Again am I dense?  Maybe our immigratioin department does need an overhaul but the issue is still one where doing an illegal act doesn’t allow for amnesty.  To those who have persevered through the process of becoming citizens, I can only imagine their thoughts.  I’m not saying illegal immigrants are bad people, I don’t know the horrors of the atrocities from which they fled to come here, but there is a process and if the process is ignored, then chaos results. 

We are in the throes of chaos, do we not recognize it, do we just not want to believe it….or has our apathy led to complacency? 

Find the candidate who is most representative about your thoughts at YOUR level.  This isn't about a popularity contest, or which side has the better Hollywood backing.  In fact, actors aren't God's they are humans, just like any other profession (athletes, doctors, lawyers, kitchen designers).   Just because I enjoy someone's ability to perform doesn't mean they get carte blanche to speak for me. 

Do we understand that EGO is an acronym for Edging God Out?  Do you realize that the most feared four letter word should be "Self"? 

Just a couple of thoughts....we can always agree to disagree!

Barb

Aha to the third power

It was a very interesting morning of reading material parlaying into 3 aha moments.  I am taking the liberty of addressing one of the readings by eliminating the word alcohol and instead allowing the sentence I am about to quote to mean any substance that alters us.  “Years of dependency on “an agent” as a chemical mood-changer deprived me of the capability to interact emotionally with others.”  Wow!  To me this nips so much in the bud.  Primarily meaning that we can’t cope with our own emotions, much less other’s emotions, so instead we try to deaden ourselves to such a point of not feeling.  Why is this?

Then I got to the reading from “Jesus Calling” and got smacked in the face with my answer.  Picture Him talking saying “Come away with Me for a while.  The world, with its nonstop demands, can be put on hold.  Most people put ME on hold, rationalizing that someday they will find time to focus on ME.  But the longer people push ME into the background of their lives, the harder it is for them to find ME.”  It continues, “You live among people who glorify busyness; they have made time a tyrant that controls their lives.”  Moment #2 aha!  When we are busy, we don’t have time for others, ourselves much less God and our busyness blocks our need to interact thus saving us from the emotional turmoil, both ours and others.

#3 Aha moment is either from Bible commentary from Joyce Meyer or from the Women’s Friendship devotional and unfortunately I can’t recall the exact quote but paraphrased it goes like this:  You look at two pictures supposedly depicting peace.  One is of a serene lake, with plant life etc. and the other is of a waterfall emptying into a lake.  Then you are asked to decide which one is the more peaceful picture.  Suprisingly, at least to me, it was the waterfall picture.  When the explanation was given, I could readily see the reasoning, but it messed with MY thoughts on the subject.  The serene lake is just that, serene, but without the opposition or conflict it is unmoving and stagnant.  Wow, that last word really stopped me.  The waterfall shows the conflict thus allows for the calmness of the rest of the lake to be able to enjoyed representing the peace.  I was at the beach this weekend and took a picture of the sunrise depicted here.  Without the clouds (conflict) this would not have the same dramatic effect.  We need conflict.  Hmmmm.

Now to tie the three together.  Our busyness and our inability to place God in the center of our lives, rather than at its outskirts leaves us feeling at loose ends.  We therefore find a method of medication to change us so that instead of feeling this lost feeling, we feel nothing and consequently do nothing and become stagnant in our approach.  The waterfall is the motivation needed to propel us to move from our self-pity, but unfortunately we are becoming strangers to the simplicity of life instead buying into the culture of more that keeps us from satisfying the inner void we feel.  That void was carefully created by the one who created us.  It is very unsettling to be our own God.  We weren’t created for that role and in our usurption (is that a word?)  of the role, we are increasingly cognizant of our lack.  It can be a never-ending circle unless we choose to stop it.

So many of us are hell bent on arriving somewhere, that we forget that it isn’t about the destination (stagnation), but instead about the journey (movement).  We have unfortunately become experts in isolation believing no one is interested in us.  We need to allow that our perceptions may be skewed, but the question is, are we willing to take the chance in stepping out of the confines of our walls?  It IS a risky venture because others have the tendency to want to keep us in our places, so that they can feel superior.  Our lack of trust in each other has led to our lack of trust in God, because we paint God into our human condition.  He is NOT limited and yet we make Him seem so every time we don’t get our way because we place blame not on ourselves, but on Him.  I can’t tell you why bad things happen, and they seemed to be happening throughout a grand portion of my life at the moment; but I choose to hold onto the hope that God has this covered and that this is just a season of my life.  It is the conflict, from where peace will flow.  For the longest while now, and the reason I haven’t blogged in quite some time is that everything seemed dark and foreboding to me.  I was losing my way and feeling abandoned by God.  Then a realization hit me, I was too focused on my problems, and when I adjusted my focus back on God, I realized that the solutions to my problems were not in my control, but in His.  I had to release my grip in doing things my way and allow for the world to unfold as it will without me trying to play God.  I was becoming increasingly depressed!  Reaching out meant my pride would be challenged, it was, but it also served to propel me in the direction I needed to go.  I am not a block of concrete, I am human and I have feelings and needs just like everyone else.  Sometimes it hurts to feel, but the alternative for me is unimaginable.  I have to be able to feel, to be able to relate.  Our world was supposed to be about relationships and somehow we have lost sight of that, which is after all the journey segment.

But lost in our busyness is the essence of being, as depicted by this young boy, a picture of contentment in my view!

Looking up!

Barb

I've gone over the edge! A funny story about a baby frog found in a friend's toilet

I've lost it.....apparently.....the stress needed to be dealt with and so, when a friend called me quite upset about finding a frog in her toilet, I responded.....I did and continue to maintain that this is just a fun piece and a play on words....without getting smutty...  I think I need to get a job!  Ha!

Once upon a time there were 3 frogs named Tad, Pole and Sweet Cheeks.  One afternoon they were sitting around croaking their stories when Tad decided to ask about Pole's and Sweet Cheek's interesting names.  Tad began with, my name is boring, but I am my father's son and they didn't want to call me junior so I got stuck with Tad.  How did you guys get your names?  Pole looked at the other two and blushed, I was ribbiting away one day in the winter and someone dared me to sample a basketball pole saying the ice on it would quench my thirst.  I bought into the premise and lo and behold, my tongue stuck to the pole, hence my name.  Tad and Pole looked expectantly at Sweet Cheeks, who was wishing he'd just out and out croak.  After stammering a bit, he spoke.  As a younger frog, just past infancy, I want to feel cool, so I decided to join a gang.  Unbeknownst to me they had a initiation, part of which was learning to roll my tongue and growl....I placed my tongue on the roof of my mouth and expelled air sounding like a cat.  One day the guys stopped by an apartment and when the woman inside wasn't watching, they dared me to pop into her home.  My intent was to go in and come right out, but the door got shut too soon.  I was desperate knowing that my skin needed the replenishment of water, so I set on a mission to find some.  I hopped about and finally found a room with its own water source, it had a makeshift kind of lilypad and so I attached myself to it.  During the evening I mainly stayed hidden because the water source became a white water rafting center complete with rafts and logs.  During the day, for the most part everything seemed quiet.  On those occasions I would sometimes venture out.  One day, I did just that.  I was minding my own business when I noticed an eclipse.  Not sure what was going on, I started humming to myself making that growl noise.  I was kind of nervous at the amount of time it was remaining dark, so I stuck my tongue out to get a sense of what was going on. My tongue touched something, I wasn't quite sure what but it was sweet.   Apparently this was the wrong move because the sun suddenly appeared and I heard all this shrieking going on.  I sat glued to my spot trying to blend in but this was virtually impossible.  The next thing I knew the white water rafting center was exploding and a raft of spongy material provided a way for my exit.  As I rode the waves I exited into a stream very far down field.  When I explained my dilemma, other frogs smiled and nodded in agreement.  A few days later they announced my arrival as a charter member of the horny toad frogs and named me sweet cheeks.

LOVE is...

We all (should) remember "love means never having to say you are sorry."   What a crock!

Or  Tom Cruise saying in a movie I can't recall its title....."You had me at hello."  Again what a crock.

What, me  dispeling the myth of "love?"  Yes.  Love is not meant to be a myth.  It is meant to be shared between people, regardless of their sex, because LOVE is NOT sex.  Love is an intimate relationship between people.  And intimacy does not have to mean sex.  Instead, as a very wise writer pointed out....intimacy if taken phoentically is INTO-ME-SEE.

Most of us hide from this type of exposure, mainly because one of the two parties present doesn't feel worthy as a participant.  If we look at our naked bodies we (well, most of us anyway) inwardly cringe.  No way do I want THAT on display.....it's bad enough I have to look at it.  Well, and I'm chuckling as I write this, because my BFF just this morning called me an overthinking upside down friend.... INTO-ME-SEE is the allowance of our naked souls to be seen and shared with another.  I will just add, that God sees all anyway, so for this context I'm speaking about sharing our souls with one another.

What is love?  Go ahead, re-read 1 Corinthians 13.....I'll wait.  Yeah, all that, but what does that mean, the stuff of not being  jealous, about being kind and not proud....etc?   What, oh wait, you mean we are supposed to take that quite literally?  Oh, I thought it was just something nice said at weddings!!!  Am I the only one saying ouch?  I don't need a band-aid here, I need a darn tourniquet.

The thing about love (my view) is that it is not about us, but instead is an extension of us for the recepient.  Huh?  Let me ask a question.  When you love someone, do you want your own way?  If you answered that any other way than to say yes, you are kidding yourself.  Of course you want your way...your way is to be loved back.  Can you demand that someone love you back?  Well, you might try, let me know if it works for you!  No, love is about wanting to reach out to the person whose attention you are trying to attract and meeting them in their space.  The sad part of love is that all too often, it is one-sided.  Either one is too needy or one doesn't know how to receive it and thus patterns are formed until one day you wake up and find yourself saying....hey, wait a minute, what about me? ( if your are the "lover") or what happened? ( if you are the "lovee.") 

When was the last time anyone met you where you needed to be met?  Love can't be forced and as my friend was reading to me out of the book "The Shack".....God even loves us enough NOT to force our hands.  Anything forced isn't love, but control.  Love to me is active listening and involves hearing what might not be necessarily said, or maybe even said in a passing way.  It is then portrayed through action because we all know that talk is cheap (or should know) and is heard and most often filtered down to drivel when action doesn't back it up.  Love is the sharing act and once again, I'm not talking sex.  Sometimes the activity is a surprise, sometimes the planning of the activity can be part of the fun of sharing as well.  What keeps us from enjoying life is that because we are so darn busy and need to plan even our bathroom breaks, we miss out on opportunities that allow two people to demonstrate their acknowledgement of one another.  Bluntly said, look at your calendar and see if the 3rd Saturday from never is available because I need between 15 - 30 minutes to see you to let you know I care.

Wow, and to the one friend who likes to say to me....no one has "pissed" in my cornflakes this morning.  I understand responsibilities, yeah, I like to eat and sleep with a roof over my head.....but when material things come before loved ones, I guess you could say I do overthink and am culturally upside, backwards, inside out or whatever it is I am.  Am I angry....maybe.  The one constant in everyone's life is that they want to be what they were created to be and that is LOVED!

How do you ask for it?  Can we even walk up to our families and just say.....love me without getting some strange look, or maybe hearing them say back to you, "I do love you."  Huh?  Obviously we aren't getting the message.  So, how do we get the message....again, I point back to active listening.  I have a friend who loves horses.  I saw this google thing and it talked about a trail ride.  Neither she nor I have much in the way of money, and yet God seemingly let Goggle intervene and a deal was made apparent to me via the web.  This is a small gesture of love, but hopefully it makes her feel heard and valued (at least I hope so) and guess what, I get something in return, the pleasure of enjoying her enjoyment and maybe even some of my own, once I get passed the fear of falling from a moving animal.  I also get the opportunity to pursue other things I enjoy....the outdoors and photography opportunities.

I am blessed to be married to a man who is very generous.  For our 25th wedding, he asked me what I wanted.  I'm simple, I said something with the family.....he took that idea and ran with it and unbeknownst to me until shortly before the event occurred, he planned a cruise for the entire family.  There were 31 of us all total and he paid for all the immediate family adults!   Those with kids, paid for their own kids. Talk about love. This cruise happened 5 years ago and is still talked about as one of the best vacations any of us have ever taken.  And now....as now, as he faces an uphill battle with cancer, the care, love and support we are being shown is beyond description in its aura!  Family is THE most important relationship to me.  But and I truly mean this, Family is not just blood relatives.  Family is those who love you despite your faults and care enough to want to share in your life without terms and conditions. 

For God so LOVED the world, he gave his begotten Son..... If we can't understand the concept of God, how can we possibly understand the magnitude of HIS gift?

That is what love is.......

Looking up!

BArb

Talking about Rhythm (picture musical notes)

When last I left you I was speaking about life rhythms…. and being ever the witster (not) every time I hear the word rhythm, my mind, for whatever reason goes to Catholic birth control. Don’t ask me why, maybe it is an upbringing thing…I’m not practicing. Ok, don’t go there either, I’m in my mid-50s.
I was reading with a friend this morning, a devotional in which it talked about the need for levitating. Ok, now I’m sure to have grabbed your attention thinking I’m going on a hocus pocus theme. Truly I’m not. What the devotional talked about was how one-tracked our minds are and how that track usually belongs somewhere in NASCAR. Again, not trying to upset race fans. As depicted, because we are such a busy people, we rush everywhere. If we levitated and looked at our lives from God’s point of view, we would only laugh at ourselves. The vision given in the devotional was of an elderly couple on a drive, meandering (probably going the speed limit – emphasis mine), chatting about their grandchildren with me driving behind them, late for an appointment. Can’t you just picture it? Red faced, scowling, road ragist?! Or, a couple on their way to their oncologist possibly about to hear news they don’t want to hear and not wanting to rush to get there…boy can I relate to that one! Well, levitate and look down on yourself, what do you see? How do you feel now? And my only remark is that if you still feel the rage inside yourself, how sad!
Rhythm allows for a variance in speed, but wants to slow down to enjoy the sights. I truly enjoy conversations (that have depth). But to get to the crux of the story, one has to set the scene, it is after all a story. Does a joke not build? Do you just come out with the punch line? No! So, when telling a story, one has to sometimes go in a circuitous route to get to the point. When interruptions are made, the story sometimes gets lost. But in our rush, we want the facts and only the facts. Not me, I want the story. I want people in my life to KNOW that I have time for them and enjoy their stories. People need to be heard. People need to be valued. And that is quickly becoming an obsolete art. We continue to devalue human contact, replacing it with device contact…ATMs, texting, instant messaging and even as I say this and get ready to post this on FB, I know I am guilty. But….given the opportunity, I’d rather be face to face because then I can pick up the true story.
Are we distracted talkers and listeners? Yes. Anytime we try to do two or more things at the same time we are either talking or listening. Does the person whose presence you aren’t in, but still in communication with know you are distracted? I do and I don’t think I’m unique! Again, view it from above.
When I volunteered with hospice, we had to take a CEU class on Anticipatory Grief. Underline the word anticipatory. That meant we had to listen to what was NOT being said and be prepared to broach topics that were being talked around but not about. Sometimes we all need what it is we are so afraid to admit to. I’m a thinker/an analyzer and an anticipator, sometimes I am wrong, but my track record to date tells me, not often. Again, it isn’t about how "great" anyone thinks I am, because truly I can only say I’m not anyone different than anyone else. It is only that I allow myself to listen to what is being said. I’ve slowed my rhythm (or in some cases have had to enhance it) to the speed of the person I am in conversation with. I love this. I love the connection. Sadly, too few want this type of connection.
That said, I don’t analyze content for judging purposes, but instead to allow the person to vent and in some cases come to conclusions that have stymied them. I too need that type of person in my own life. It is the feedback that helps one get over the road hump. Again in another devotional it was depicted as driving in a fog, but then scaling a hill thus getting above the density and looking and seeing it from a different perspective, but then descending back into the mist, hopefully with a better understanding of what may lie ahead.
Can’t you just visualize life that way? In the parable about Jesus in the boat with the disciples as it crosses the lake in a storm. Jesus lies in a restful sleep, while his friends are terrified of the storm about to capsize their boat. They wake Him, questioning how He could possibly sleep. The commentary provided by Joyce Meyer sums it all up quite simply. When we have storms going inside us (fear, anger, resentments, lack of trust, lack of faith, lack of self-esteem, etc.) how can we possibly quiet the storms going on about us in the world (health issues, financial issues, marital issues, child issues, whatever other issues). We have to quiet the inner storms first. How? And I alternate on this point at different times in my life, now being one of them. How? For me, it is in giving the problem to God and trusting that HE will render the solution in HIS time, which unfortunately doesn’t always coincide with my time. But when I am able to look back on whatever the issue was, I ALWAYS see that HIS timing was perfect. I dislike pain, as much as anyone else, but without pain, I don’t grow. Sometimes God needs to sever the deadwood I’ve allowed to accumulate in my life. Why I want to hold onto something that has no benefit for me, I don’t completely understand. In terms of a boat, it is like having barnacles attached that only weigh it down, possibly to the point of sinking it.
Anyone? Maybe it is why I like the beach so much. I look at the surf and see it ebb and flow. Sometimes the waves are rolypolies, other times they are stormy, but always they make their way into the shoreline, but always retract. Rhythm.
Looking up!
Barb

Rhythm Part 1

Rhythm.  The music is playing and for some of us, our feet can’t help moving, trying to feel that pulsating beat.  It isn’t a nervous foot jiggle, as my husband demonstrates, you know the one where when sitting with toes only touching the floor the heels start bouncing….aka the Motor.  No that’s the one that sets the dishes sitting on the table jiving making everyone hyper until the death look captivates the jiggler or someone goes over and physically places pressure on their knees to lower the heels and make it stop!  I don’t know, maybe in the jiggler’s mind they are moving to some beat, just one unheard by anyone else!  No, rhythm, as I intend to portray is of a different cadence.  Whether it be to a waltz or a jive; somewhere in its pace is a regularity of tempo.  Rhythm can build in its pulse, but then once it reaches its crescendo, drops back to its pattern.

Are you aware that life too has a rhythm?  Do you know when yours is out of sync?  If truth be told, I am only now learning to pay attention to life’s rhythm.  Before I was too frantic in my life approach to even think about it.  I have often remarked about life’s busyness and its ill effects on us.  The point I never fully explained was this point about rhythm.  I am in NO way a dancer, I’m much too klutzy for that, but I do fancy myself to enjoy music and be able to keep time at least moderately well.  The thing with me though, is that I have to hear the music.

Well, life doesn’t always play its music so that we can hear it, either that or we’ve become deaf to wanting to listen to it.  And that is  until something happens in your life that makes you slow down and pay attention to it, which in turns makes you wonder why it took so long to do so.  The rhythm in life is as soothing as you allow it to be.  Here’s the thing though, too often we aren’t listening to “our” life song, instead we are listening to someone else’s, because their beat sounds somewhat more appealing than ours.

In the Bible, Jesus comes to visit Martha and Mary.  I’m a Martha.  I want to be prepared, house cleaned, food warmed, everything just so.  The problem with that is that when the guest of honor arrives (in this case Jesus), Martha continues to fuss over the tiniest of details completely missing out on the enjoyment of her guest.  Mary on the other hand, stops what she is doing and dotes on her guest.  Martha gets PO’d enough to even try to convince Jesus to tell Mary to get off her ever loving butt and get to making things right.  Two distinct people, two distinct different rhythms.  Yet Jesus tells Martha, Mary’s got it all right, she IS doing what is important.  Whoa.  In Martha’s mind, Mary was being a slacker.  In Jesus’ mind, Mary was anything but a slacker.  She was honoring her guest by being present in the moment with Him.

As I age, I am becoming increasingly aware of life as an agenda.  Unfortunately, that agenda seems to center on everyone else’s time frame.  Do this, be there, look here and most often the word that follow those is the word…..NOW.  My husband and I are not independently wealthy, so I don’t have the luxury of thumbing my nose at life and saying kiss my grits.  I (we) do, to a certain extent, have to be responsible adults – only if we want to continue to enjoy having a roof over our heads and food on the table.  No, I’m talking about what comes after responsibilities have been met.  How do we allow ourselves to enjoy our own timely progressions?

Stay tuned….

Looking up!~

Barb